Behind Closed Doors - Comments

:) great chapterx

Jacob is the brotherly type, so him getting angry was good.
I liked it.

I hope to see another update soon.
=)

sweet chapter:D just lyk chocolate^^ hershey kisses lyk promised plz? *puppy eyes* come oonn <-- CHOCOLATE ADDICT:D ok not quite but i <333 it
now update so u can attach a pic a chocolate 4 me 2 stare at + droolxD

i love it update soon

luved the update:D

Love it!
That's a new way of reacting to imprinting so it's cool!

Update soon please!

Merry Christmas, Sam Shadows.

I didn't think the chapter was boring.
And you toned it down, but still had a bit of Alana's crazy side.
You could probably have put a bit more of her into it.

But the chapter was mainly Paul.
Which was good, haha.
Boy I can't wait until Jacob finds out, this is gonna be good.

Update soon, honeybunch!

*gasp* hershey kisses... CHOCOLATEEE!!!!! omfg. u r SOO gonna gimme:)

<3

I love your story! Please update soon!

ps- I loved Taylor Lautner on SNL! He would make a great football player:) jk

i love it!!!!!!!!! next chapter plz

i love it!!!!!!!!! next chapter plz

I love this so far<3

ya see what i just did there, you said we cant post 5 comments at once so im only posting 3

oh and happy holidays (i forgot to add that in my 1st comment)

i love this story

yay :) this is really goodx

I really like this story idea.
So I'll give a full critique on the whole chapter.
=)

Good things first:
It's quirky, which is good. It shows Alana is a crazy girl, but maybe a bit to wild. I would say tone that down just a tad.

The meeting of the guys was good, Paul just has that sexy smoldering thing going on. I love how he is the bad boy, makes him more appealing. However he is originally the big guy with the bad temper. So it all fits.

Bad Things:
Like I said previously Alana has the wild thing going on, which is good, but I think it should be toned down. Because the whole chapter is like only her thoughts and not really descriptions of what's going on. So that kinda makes it a bit more hard to read.

That's basically all I really have to say for the bad things. More description and less of Alana's thoughts. They're good, but try putting in descriptions and actions.

Over all I give you a 7 out of 10 stars!
=)

Hope you update soon and please don't let my comment discourage you in any way!
As a reader I'm just telling you my thoughts, that does not mean you have to listen.

-Mimi

Update soon please, Love it.

Merry Christmas, Sam Shadows.

Maybe three???