Our Happiest Christmas - Comments

This was very cute! I enjoyed reading it! I love how, ugh, I forget the guys name. Not Patrick, the other one. Anyways, I love how he got Patrick a signed picture! So sweet! And I could just imagine the part where the other dude opens the gift from Patrick!

So cute! I loved it! Great job.

very cute(:

Aw, this is really really good. As always your imaginary is good and I could imagine it. =]

Awe this was just so sweet! :) I love Patty and Jon! :) So cute! :) Awesome job!

That was so sweet.
I really liked that, it was simple but completely adorable and romantic.
It was very well written apart from a very few grammer errors.
I liked it a lot,
Good job.

His brown hair was disheveled, and his brown eyes had a sleepy look to them.
You should try not to use the same word in one sentence when it’s descriptive; it makes the sentence boring and unimaginative.

Small grammar errors, for instance:

“Yeah, looks like it,” He said. They were telling of a huge storm that was supposed to be hitting soon. “I got you something, too, Patty,” He said, holding out a wrapped box.

If you’ve put a full stop at the end of the sentence that has speech in it you should start a new paragraph or use commas:

“Yeah, looks like it,” He said, they were telling of a huge storm that was supposed to be hitting soon,
“I got you something, too, Patty,” He said, holding out a wrapped box.

“||FF: The Next Morning||” you could have used a * instead

I like how nothing huge has to happen for this to be a nice story; it’s a simple daily love story.
Saying that although it was nice and simple, I felt that it needed something else to pull it out of average love story and make it much better.