Alright, I'm going to give you some harsh criticism, and then a compliment. 'Kay?
So to be honest, I thought it was a bit rushed. Like -Bam!- she meets Jade. Then, -Bam!- they are best friends, and et cetera et cetera. I'm also terribly confused as to how someone can love someone else in such a short amount of time, but I love William Beckett although I've never met him, so I guess that contradicts me a bit.
Although, I loved how you made the member's of AFI out to be really nice guys, 'cause in most fan-fics they have horrible personalities. It was a nice change of page.
All in all, aside from a few grammatical errors, it was pretty awesome. Thanks for entering and posting a THREE-shot. :D
So to be honest, I thought it was a bit rushed. Like -Bam!- she meets Jade. Then, -Bam!- they are best friends, and et cetera et cetera. I'm also terribly confused as to how someone can love someone else in such a short amount of time, but I love William Beckett although I've never met him, so I guess that contradicts me a bit.
Although, I loved how you made the member's of AFI out to be really nice guys, 'cause in most fan-fics they have horrible personalities. It was a nice change of page.
All in all, aside from a few grammatical errors, it was pretty awesome.
Thanks for entering and posting a THREE-shot. :D