Deception. - Comments

Well hullo thur stranger ;) . ah I read this five thousand years ago but I was so clogged up with school shit I couldn’t review. SO HERE IS AN ACTUAL REVIEW I take far too long with these things and I love youuuu and I love thisss :3. ha as per usual there probably wont end up any criticism in this and I’ll be in tears by the end as usual

BTW. I love that it’s harry and danny :3 I’ve tried with this pairing and it never went just right. You m’dear, own it . ha

UMPH sam you start your pieces in the best of ways “ the reflection stretched like taut cling film over his eyes” is just the most kind of uncomfortable imagery. It’s like he’s not blinded but everything’s warped, it’s entirely different to how it should be. It’s ruining his view but as cling film is, it’s stuck and it’s staying there. Although it begs the question why exactly he can’t pull this crappy illusion away from her own vision. If that makes any sense ha.

“puppy-eyes-nearly-turned-bulldog expression is” I have a fetish for hyphenated phrases. Serious this is gorgeous. It fits right in with what I would assume his line of thought to be a , a little jumbled, a little sarcastic. Covering up for deeper emotions with a kind of attempt at humour. Love it, love it , love it

“ It wraps itself round my oesophagus and squeezes, hard.” Originally I thought this was a wedding band and I Went ‘OH GAD AFFAIRS’ automatically but it’s not . I need to learn to read ha. I adore the anatomical references, especially when referenced to the oesophagus and the other mans hands. It automatically brings the imagery of him being throttled, even though Dan hasn’t even touched him.

“A room with chic bare walls, pretending to look stylish instead of cold and boring” I like this, because mainly. He seems to choose this room which couldn’t reflect better the freezing atmosphere between them. But also they seem to differ on what they think is a lounge, and this small detail makes you wonder whether their really that perfect together if they can’t concur over something so trivial as decorating? It questions their relationship and kind of eases you into the coming bomb drop of him sleeping with someone else.

“His lips are in a knot a sailor couldn’t undo.” Firstly, I love how this is the start to a paragraph.It’s like it’s all that Harry can concentrate on, Danny’s lips ad that’s kind of sad in a way. Also I love the imagery. Those tight pursed creased lips. Just gah. LOVE IT.

I want to marry you for this line/couple of lines “ A tear plays connect-the-dots with the freckles on his face, but it’s fat and quivering too much to do anything but sit there on the top of his cheek” just ohmygod sam it made me literally die somewhere inside, in a good way. Blah you make an emotional state of me woman.

“His spine buckles on the couch where we first kissed,”this is so strong, that he’s falling back whilst it ends to where it began. And that this is what Harry automatically recalls, their first kiss. Nothing else, and it’s just heartbreaking. Even if you are coming under the impression harry’s at fault. Your heart still goes out to him as well as danny just. Blah. Cue me tearing up.

“But as his chest touches mine for half a second at a time as his ribcage heaves up and down” I love that you never say something like ‘he got really close’ because with the whole idea of his chest just touching Harry, You know he’s far too close for comfort (WHAT WAS I JUUUUUUSSSSSST ABOOOOOOUUUUTTTT TOOOO DISCOVERRRRR – enough mcfly references ) it’s claustrophobic imagery and you almost want Harry to take a step back to give you some air as a reader. Plus ‘Heaves’ mmmm one of my favourite words

-“I’m sorry.” “You’re a shit liar.”“I’m a shit boyfriend.”“I love you.”“No, you don’t.”- this whole exchange is a amazing, it’s so short and blunt and you can pretty much hear their voices in your head, bickering it out so bluntly. It’s so real, I adore you dialogue samwise. It’s like your pretty much there with them, never overdone, never corner. None of the ‘you’ve never loved me really yada yada. One paragraph long speech. They say all that would be said and I Adore that.

“shaking and sobbing and helplessly angry, to hit me on the head like a grand piano and wake me up.”Consider my emotions like going haywire I’m tearing up all over the shop . ‘helplessly angry’ seems to suggest he doesn’t want to be this way, he wants to forgive Harry and theres so many conflicting emotions I don’t know quite where to turn and that’s the beauty of it.

Basically at this point I love how you can’t actually define what both of them are feeling, it’s Harry pushing Danny away instead of the opposite which you would assume in this kind of situation, and it’s danny trying to convince Harry he loves him when Harry should be on his knees begging for Danny’s relaization. It’s kind of reversed roles but no quite and I love it. It’s real instead of your typical straight forward ideal of a breakup. This is just , excuse the lack of real terminology, totally fucked in the head as far as situations go but I love it. Really. It’s amazing and I can relate so heavily with some of the breakups I’ve been though because it’s not always clear who ahs to speak their mind or who apologises. Ah i’m crying again anyway if you understood any of that. You are queen of emotion. Of Nagst of anything. AMAZING.

“He’s a fucking whore, Danny!” I really wanna hug him, but he’s the bad guy…so I shouldn’t but I do

“And that’s how we end up on the sofa, my torso lodged between memory-encrusted leather and Danny’s hips, tongues locked in something salty and rough. It doesn’t feel like it did the last time, twenty-four hours yet a lifetime ago, and the cocktail of familiar jerks and moans shaken up with new, biting words is trippy, heady. Traitor. I know that it’s wrong, I know that the bruising grips and the burning grind and fuck, the acidity of each open mouthed kiss I desperately press to his lips is something I should not be encouraging, but we’re both weak and we both know from recent events that I can’t resist temptation. Whore. The perspiration doesn’t reach the walls of the open space; it hangs round us like a mushroom cloud, a toxic reminder of what we had and what I threw away. Liar. Danny’s sinking his teeth into my shoulder, and I’m grappling at his back as he thrusts, harder, faster, everything multiplied by ten in his fit of god knows what. The ceiling swims in my hazy line of sight as stars shoot in front of it, muscles quivering and nerve endings smouldering as I cry out, helplessly, before Danny’s red-rimmed pinhole eyes reappear in front of me in all their tragic blueness, following with the most melancholy orgasm he’ll ever have.”OH MY GOD FOR THE LOVE OF JESUS DOES IT EVEN NEED TO BE SAID I LOVE YOU

anywayyy….

Looking at that last paragraph “Whore. The perspiration doesn’t reach the walls of the open space; it hangs round us like a mushroom cloud, a toxic reminder of what we had and what I threw away”I love how it’s not just sex, it has meaning. It’s got this bitter undercurrent and once it’s over. Something has to give or break and it’s almost tragic. It’s pretty much goodbye sex on a fucking sofa and this is all they’ll have to go on in regards to each other, a bitter thing on Danny’s sofa. It’s like the deserve more but they wont ever quite get it. Heartbreaking sam

“Do you feel anything now?” it’s like a pointless question. Theres no saving them and achhhh. Can’t actually form sentences right now.

BASICALLY I ADORE THIS. It’s raw, it’s not just a break up fic it’s immensely complex. Drawing you in your heart gets broken along with the pair of them. I love your charcterization especially. Harry is a gem. Even though he’s a philandering heartbreaking liar. And he’s taken Danny for a complete ride and fucked him over. You still wanna be there holding his hand as much as Danny’s. I think it’s because instead of being some villain, he’s just human and a very faulted one at that and that’s what I love about your charcters, their not charcters. They become people standing in their own right and gad. You sympathise with them like hell.

WELL I’M OFF TO GO DRY MY EYES AND HAVE A CUP OF TEA
Gloriousssssss storrrrryyyyy samwise md’ear.

Mmmmm LOVED THIS :D

Wow, that was just amazing.
I've never read an angry sex story before, but this was so well done.
The descriptions of everything, the emotions, the actions, is just perfect and fits so well with the story.
Just, brilliant :)

This was actually so heartbreaking.
Not only was it amazingly well-written, but it was so emotional and descriptive. I actually really enjoyed reading it.
I wanted to comfort both Danny and Harry so bad, they actually just broke my heart.
“Somewhere along the line, Dan, he forgot how to feel.”
This line was just - gahh - epic. I absolutely loved it.
Amazing, amazing job with this.

It's really nice to see you writing something new about your boys, and this piece doesn't let your repuation down at all.
The one word sentences between the speach are really effective, and your choice of words are exceptional, and so suited to the piece. In just one word you can get the emotion through, and as the reader I could relate to the topic really well.
His lips are in a knot a sailor couldn’t undo. A tear plays connect-the-dots with the freckles on his face Wonderful description!

Sorry for the sucky feedback, but you should know it's not my area of experise. ~~

GUH, Sam. You kill me every time you write, and the end product never ceases to amaze me. I first saw this on RTSG, and I have to admit, the excerpt made me excited. I can't believe you posted it!

Let me just first start off and say: I just love angry!sex in writing. Everything is all over the place and it's all passion and hunger and heat and it's just so gaaah. So when you mentioned to me that you were going to write an angry Danny/Harry smut, I giggled like a mad man and eagerly waited. Which paid off so much, because this was so hot. Like, amazingly, crazily, maddeningly hot.

I just love your descriptions, hun. I always have, and I always will. They're just so poetically elaborate without ever becoming too detached from the point. That happens to me so many times when I attempt to write this likes sometimes. I especially liked this line: Also known as; the mask of normality served with a shot of something to make this easier for me to handle, please, waiter.

I'm not sure what it is about this line, but it just really stuck with me. Like, I could see Danny going to a bar to order a drink before all of this and trying to cover it up with a mint or something.

I just love how Danny's crying and yet they're kissing because, I dunno, I just have some weird fetish with tears, probably spawned from my weird fetish with angry!sex stories. I want Harry to comfort him and for it to turn into a fluff, yet at the same time I'm so glad it didn't - you write angst so incredibly well, m'dear. You're such a versatile author, it astounds me every time.

I wish I could write a better review, maybe even give you some con-crit, but I really can't think of anything else to say. I wouldn't change a word of it.