January 20th, 2010 at 06:03pm
Ah, Joan, I reeeeeally need to read more of your work because it has this magical, philosophical quality to it that I just can't get enough of, and this was no different.
I loved the kind of... Existentialist feel this had, if you could call it that. Especially this part:
A cycle of nothingness, of all the queer things that we fill out lives with to avoid thinking about death. Bus tickets, income taxes, blankets, cross stitching, fishing, cholesterol, calorie counting, vitamin supplements, pet goldfish, television shows and shit comedy usually written by some middle class bastard who knows nothing.
You just hit the nail on the head, and I wish I had time to ramble on about all the other things I loved and how this made me feel, but I don't.
So just trust me - this is marvellous, you are a deep genius and I wish I had half your mind
/fangirling
<3
'starlight, the moon, constellations, cellular division, stethoscopes, radiation, irises, poppy fields, the cascade that occurs when you trip over'
That bit was nice to read, to see that you didn't just link it all to one thing but used other things instead of just stars and space.
'It started.
What started?
The visions of course.
What visions?'
That was a nice bit to put in.
'And this is why I'm starting to run , run into oblivion. I am not waiting for Death, I'm going to run into it. '
I absolutely loved that bit! I don't understand why but I did.
'This life is a juxtaposition of the marvelous, the inane and the depressing.' I loved that bit as well. Its written so beautifully.
'I'm fucking flying!
Watch me, Death!
I'm flying.' That bit deserved applause. I could so see someone doing that.
Summary
The way you've written it is marvelous. You've got each letter, each syllable placed in the area it was meant to be. If you were to write a story based on this (somehow) and in the same style you'd have so many people begging you for more updates.