The Last Dream - Comments

yeah, I'm not too good at writing stories...the explanation behind this is that it is a girl dying and for some reason that she had forgotten, one of her dreams was to see pink balloons in the rain. Then I wasn't sure whether I should make her die or not, so I just left it at the end. You're right, it just didn't quite fit together, I wrote most of it on a day when I was feeling poorly and just bascically wrote an alternate life for myself. It isn't my best, but I am trying...

I'm not quite sure what to say.
It's a good story, I liked how there wasn't dialouge, I'll say that but it left me... confused. I wasn't really following what her "last dream" was or how it had anything to do with the balloons/picture. I wasn't sure if she had died or... yeahl. It seemed like you talked a lot about her past more than what was going on in the present and it just didn't all fuse together the way you meant it to... at least how I interpreted it.
As far as the layout goes I do know how to fix it but not from memory. Sorry, otherwise I would definitely help you figure it out! :)