The Moaning Lisa. - Comments

So, yeah, tell me which stories and I'll hook them up xP

Heya babe - look, I'm so sorry its taken me this long to finish and so on, but I'm going to write you a second - descriptive/longass ;D - comment so you don't feel neglected. I mean, I said I'd comment every entry... and that comment to you barely even counts :P

So I'm going to write everything I like first, and then list some tips for next time you write :D I tend to do that... oh, and I quote <3 I hope you like!

Was awesome;
The Gabe factor! lol, yes, and some other stuff... but I just love Gabey-baby soooo much right now xD
Um, the way you described many of the scene's and exactly what was happening; it was wonderful when you went to the effort;

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But one day, he knocked on my door. I swear the dust rolled off the red door as his fist came in contact with the hard timber. I coughed, rising to the balls of my feet to answer it.
My vision was blurred, I didn’t have my contacts in; after all, it was nine thirty on a Wednesday night; but I swore I was dreaming as his heart breaking smile peered back at me.

Now that was wonderful. I really really liked that writing... two thumbs up xDDDD

... and then really everything you wrote was as equally awesome in that sense. I can't really quote everything now can I? But yeah... it really was good.

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So inside he walked, his shoes kicked off to the side as he slid off his jeans too. I turned away, a deep rose rising in my cheeks. His hand caressed my hip, my back still turned to him. I didn’t know what say, much less what to do.

Hmmm hm Mhmmm... sexy hexi >:DDDD Loved it! Bahaha xDDD That part gave me goosebumps... he's just so damn confident in himself xP

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His mouth gently attached to my neck, his tongue and lips doing wonders for my discomfort.

I've never heard that before; 'wonders to my discomfort'. It was perfect in describing her emotions... really, it defined the whole feel of things when you put it together with her actions. It was pretty damn bloody good :D

And then really I liked everything else... it was, well, wicked. Honest. Entertaining, too ;D

Tips;
Oh, firstly, your layout came out too dark on my computer and I had to use default to read it. Maybe if you just lighten up the writing It'd be easier... but I couldn't read it.

Oh, and I don't know what else. All I can say is; I love your writing, but of course - even if i can't think of anything to help you improve - there's always room for improvement. And so just read and pick up certain little skills... like me xP

Oh, and babe, you got second <3333

So we're in on the same contest and I definitely ogled over this. Twas great and I totally enjoyed :)

You're definitely going to beat mine. Just so you know ;D
♥<3

Sorry, I only just got to read this. So, I really like it, but towards the end I got confused. Maybe thats because I had to read quickly... so I'm going to go over it again soon. For now, I did... erm... enjoy it :P Nice work. I might comment again once I've read it a second time. Yes?