Ugly - Comments

This was great.
Few errors.

I like the universal appeal this story has, and your character.
Janice could basically be seen as a part of each and every one of us.
She has a strong personality, and I like how she developed throughout the story.

It was a beautiful, touching story.
Great job.

This story was making my heart break until the ending.
I love how beautiful this story is.
It makes me, the reader, feel oh so beautiful.

It doesn’t matter what others think.
Everyone is beautiful in their own way.

One Shot For One Shot

I really loved reading this. It was short but straight to the point and definitely something that many, many girls can relate to.

She blamed it on her hair. Her stupid, stupid hair. I loved that particular line because it is definitely realistic for a girl to blame her feelings of ugliness on insignigicant parts of her body to explain why she is 'ugly' to other people.

Because it wasn’t short, straight and blonde. Another good line because she is comparing herself to the other girls, trying to figure out why she's 'ugly', even though she just has different coloured hair to them.

Now although I really liked the repetition of using Janice's name throughout this story, I didn't like how the word 'hair' was repeated in the second paragraph because to me it just didn't sound right.

Told her it would make her beautiful eyes red and puffy. Janice merely cried harder when her father said that, for her eyes were the reason she was crying. I definitely enjoyed this as well because the first sentence completely sounds like a thing a father would say - trying to make his daughter feel better, but at the same time not understanding how what he's saying could hurt her more. Janice's reaction to it, crying even harder, was definitely realistic.

She saw how her hair, even thought it was short, fell in waves around her shoulders. How her eyes shone, despite their puffiness. This was one of the great lines to end on and I'm glad she finally realised she was pretty - that she wasn't ugly because she didn't look exactly like the other girls. She was pretty in her own way.

Overall, I thought this was great piece. It was raw and brutally honest, and something girls can definitely relate to. I enjoyed reading it very much.

This was so beautiful. I think a lot of girls could learn something from it too. Well done :)

This story is so pretty. I have a friend named Janice who thinks just like this. She's so pretty, though. And I think I'm ugly, too-my mantra is, to keep my hopes up: 'I'm pretty when I cry.'
I'm completely in love with this story...