You Misunderstood - Comments

I liked it.It makes me want to not judge people as much.

One Shot For One Shot:

I agree that the ending was a bit rushed and Andrew's character seemed kinda off...I liked Olivia though - both her personality and name.

Although you captured the feeling and enviornment of getting messed with at school, I've never seen a girl get hassled for being sleazy...and I didn't really like when he said she should deny it because that would just start trouble and make things worse...

Either way though, it was pretty captivating and well written.

One shot for a one shot.

I really like what you've done with this one shot. You're able to keep a certain rhythm and talk about topics that relate without making it seem as every other story. I must admit, the beginning confused me. I wonder why Andrew was just wondering about the topic since Olivia walked in the classroom, or perhaps it's for some other reason.

Anyway, I like how strong Olivia is. She endures the taunting of her peers while keeping in her anger, that I presume she has. (I'm writing this as a read, so if I'm assuming anything wrong, or don't understand anything as of yet, that's why.)

Your grammar and spelling seems to be spot on, from what I can tell. Sometimes I'd get lost in the dialogue, I must admit. I think it's quite cute, and creepy, of Andrew to follow Olivia, however, it wasn't until he blurted out the question, "Are you really a prostitute?", that I fully believed in your ability to make your characters come alive. You were able to capture the harshness of school, I think, with ease.

The end seemed to be a bit rushed and I think you could have elaborated a bit more on Olivia's situation. Her strong characterization seemed to falter a bit at the end as well when she easily gave in to Andrew's persistence. Though, I still think you were able to capture the real feelings throughout the entire one shot and I wanted a know more once I reached the end.

Well done, and I wish you luck in the contest, if it's still going on. :]

I liked this!
Really well written. Good description and your dialogue really made the characters come alive.
Well done!
:)

That was really good, you have a nice flow with words and good grammar/punctuation. It definitely kept my attention throughout the entire oneshot and when I got to the end, I wanted more of the story to read. That, I think, is what a real writer; they always leave the reading wanting more.

The content was real, relatable in some aspects and it made sense. It would be nice to see you continue it a little but if you feel that it's finished then don't write anymore - sometimes that can ruin a good oneshot.

But honestly, I've read a lot of stories from a lot of different writers and this is a really well written piece. You should be very proud. : )