Play Your Memories - Comments

One Shot for One Shot

I really like how this was written.
Your vocabulary was great and the emotion felt really real.
You had lovely descriptions in there.

My heart speeds up it’s once steady tempo in my birdcage of a chest
I really really liked that bit.

So yeah, this was a really amazing piece.

I loved this. It was so..unique. It was amazing. Great job, great job. :)

One Shot for a One Shot.

First off, let me start of by saying that I like how this one shot is written. Some people try to take on the present verb-tense form of writing and well, some don't quite make it work. The next point I'd like to make is, you seem to like to focus on the actions of the story. You put such detail into the motions of the characters without going overboard and that's talent. The ending is also quite moving because it's a sensitive wound. I choose that wording because many people lose their loved one and by writing about how Lacey in fact hears her Grandpa respond to that statement, you play out an emotion that a lot of people can relate to.

Overall, I think you did a splendid job with this one shot and I wish you luck in that contest. Your writing will get you far in life, I think.