Remnants - Comments

So sad, yet beautiful. You did an amazing job with descriptions.

I have to agree with silk tea. about the layout. I don't like when there are more than one banner on the page. The background is pretty, but maybe with another banner on top it might look better.

Great job. :)

It was really sad. I also like the details you put into this.

It was really sad. I also like the details you put into this.

I loved this story. It was short and sweet. I didn't immediately make the connection, but found the remnants in the swing where (apparently) Maxine used to sit, and the chips of paint Mark brushed off his hands... Amazing work. I'm so jealous... Lol, love the story.

That was sad.
But it was a good story and it held my interest ;)
Wonderful work ;)

He was on his swing again when Joel opened the gate. This time, he put his feet firmly on the ground, let go of the chains, brushed the remnants of paint off of his hands, and stepped out of the shade. Joel went over to him, and they hugged. And finally, Mark was able to mourn.

You summarized the whole story in just that one paragraph alone.

Remnants was a good choice. It was hard to see how related it was to the story at first, but after reading... "brushed the remnants of paint off of his hands...", the name choice seemed almost poetic. : )

All in one, this was good. I checked out your other story, but I have to apologize, arranged marriage stories of any kind don't exactly appeal to me.

Keep it up!

Alright, just as a prewarning I'm a brutally honest person. So please, if you have a personal offense to something I say, let me know. However, if it's based on my opinion on something don't bother with yelling at me, I'll only ignore it.

Anywho.

Story Review Game.

As I must do, I have to comment on your title. I'm curious as to how it's going to relate to your story. It's a very curious word, and it seems hard to relate to.

I don't like the layout at all. It's not appealing, as well having more than one graphic is not only not allowed, but something I can't stand.

"A now brick pathway leading away from the..." I think you meant a new brick pathway

I liked this a lot. It was very sad, and your descriptive language was excellent. That's sad that Maxine killed herself. :(

Very well done, I didn't exactly get teary, but you did an excellent job at portraying the emotion of a denying boy.

Well this is interesting. As of today, I have one subscriber but no comments. xD