March 26th, 2011 at 05:48pm
Ah, I love the layout and summary. The summary gets to me, man. You have no clue. <3
Chapter 1
Ah, the pain of growing up. Damn his room is messy. xD
Good chapter.
Chapter 2
Oh, I need to say something before I forget. I love the name of your characters! They're not uncommon names or anything, they're just names you don't hear all the time. Sweet idea. :3
“Arggh, I wanna go!” she screamed into the tummy of her big, pink teddy bear. - Tummy sounds sorta weird in the sentence. I guess it makes sense because it's a teddy bear, but I think that stomach would be a lot more appropriate. :)
Mental facepalm! That happens to me all the time. lmfao
Her mom sounds like a bitch. -_-
Chapter 3
That's my mom's name. Except she spells it Amy.
What is table tennis? Ping - pong?
Aww. Shaving sucks. D: Poor chick.
Chapter 4
Aww, crushes! lol
Chapter 5
Reunions!
She copied his ridiculous position, her head lying on the passenger seat, bare legs hanging off out the window. - Lol. I have a sudden urge to try that position. (that's what she said xD) Really though.
Woah? He got his girfriend pregnant!?
I hope Aimee knows that armpit hair is completely natural. xD
Aww, this was a really sweet ending. :)
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Overall, this was a pretty cute story. I like that it was in all their different POVS up until the last chapter. Great job! :D
I just want to point out a grammar error I saw, however.
He let out a deep breath which rattled him more, instead of calmed him
In the line above, instead of calmed him should be instead of calming him
I like the way you write, it flows. Lol the person above me, that line has inspired me to try that as well :P This was a very cute story, I quite liked it :) Good job