No Man's Land - Comments

thank you for the new update.
i don't think there's anything else i can add, other than i loved it, like always.

-new reader-

I LOVE this story! MORE NOW PLEASE!!!!

Yay, another update of my favourite story! :D I shall go read...

Aw, Abella's really sweet. From what I've seen already, Sibley should think about settling down with someone, as Jackie thought, and stop firing and fucking his assistants. XD

As I've said before, I love the way you describe things. It's like I can see the room in my head as clearly as a memory, and not many writers can do that. It's amazing.

I'm glad Gerard and Cynthia are getting along. ^_^ Gerard's adorable in this story, so reserved and yet so... not. It's hard to explain, but I love it. :D

Awwww, Evan's puppy is adorable! I was walking home from school one day when I saw one of those tiny dogs on a lead bing dragged along, and it was SO small and adorable and MEEEEEP!
(I've never had a pet before, so I get a bit crazy with animals. XD)

I've probably said this before as well, but I love how you give every character little traits of their own which are pointless(ish) but makes the characters come alive, like Sibley with his orange tic-tacs. For some reason that really stuck in my mind. :)

“Can I just take a moment,” Taffy started, raising a hand and looking appreciative, “to say how awesome I think it is that we’re all so mature in this band? I mean, really. This is great. I barely feel like I’m back in elementary school at all."
Heeheeeeee.

Hahaha oh God, what does Evan's hair look like?! It's that bad, huh? Ohhh right XD I thought it was terrible, like he'd got a crew-cut or something, but I'm glad Anna loved it. :D Hah, false alarm...

I WANT THAT PUPPY. SO BAD.

I honestly can't wait for the next chapter.... I love this story so much. Please update soon, but don't feel pressured. :) Hope your job and moving doesn't get too stressful.

<333

Your updates always amaze me, and this one was no disappointment. Keep up the good work :)

Hey its good to see ya back. The update was great and I loved everyone's reactions to Evan's hair. I could just see their faces. Made me laugh so hard. See ya on twitter.

I was so shocked to see the update notice I squealed loudly. On a bus. People stared at me. I DON'T CARE THOUGH. Oh my goodness, the highlight of this was the lovely fleshing out of Sibley, actually. I just adore so much about him, right down to my addiction to reading his parts aloud in a British accent. Also, congratulations on not pulling out everything all at once and giving us the name of the puppy. I'm very curious!

And if it's any consolation or whatever you fancy taking it as, I don't mind waiting for so long between updates. Heh, I'm similar to you, so busy I am reading and commenting this on the bus via cell phone. Nice job, I actually don't have anything to complain about since Audrey's done the typos jazz.

You can tell everyone Evan quit the band, and then that he rethought things and joined back up after this shoot. Upstairs, everyone!”

^ Typo.

He seemed almost bizarrely proud of this fact, too, and once he got out of the hospital shot a series of self-portraits sporting thebandages and bruises that he titled “Looking for New Assistant: Applicants Apply Within.”

^ I'm not sure, but when I read this, I thought there should be a comma between "hospital" and "shot." But that could just be because I overuse commas.

“Evan, I swear to God, if you don’t get here in ten minutes I’m going to end up murdering Sibley, and I’m too pretty for even county jail so get your ass here, now.”

^ So true. Way too pretty for prison. Despite his height, he would be a pretty little something for inmate.

When Jackie had first left the room Anna, forced to tag along by her father—who promised her food in the form of sushi afterward...

^ Here again, I thought a comma was needed after "room".

something was moving around and wriggling around his chest area.

^...something was moving and wriggling around his chest?

I love how even seems extremely childish in this chapter, more so than usual. Especially when he first arrives with the dog. As always, it's endearing in a completely irritating way.

“By the way, fucked-up directions. What is this place?”

^ Just reading that line, reminded me of a Dane Cook bit about people giving fucked up, cryptic directions. Made me giggle.

***I'll finish a proper review laterz, yo.

:hug:
Yay! You updated.
I loved it, cant wait to find out what Evan names his dog.
More when you get to it Jinxeh.:mrgreen:

I hate dogs as a rule, but I'm in love with Evan's puppy! =D
Good chapter. And, Jinxeh, you're really good with characters.

I love the whole idea of a No Man's Land photoshoot. It makes them seem even more real, and I like how Jackie and Sibley are so close. It sounds like they work together really well. Taffy stating that he loved being in a band that was so "mature" was incredibly funny >.< Although I do love the fact that Evan brought his puppy to the photoshoot, too. It should be made an honorary member, though I'm not so sure about Anna's wish of calling it "Spazzy McGee" if Evan doesn't name him...

“Evan, I think your dog is mentally handicapped,” Cynthia decided. “He runs sideways!”
:lmfao
Best line ever!

Also, Anna and Evan are such a cute couple (though I've probably went on a bit about how much I love them together). I love Anna for loving Evan's new hair, even whilst everybody else thought she's absolutely hate it.

And Abella sounds really sweet, too. She's exactly the person Sibley needs

Ooooh photoshoot, I'd love to be Sibley's assistant without the perks of you know, sleeping with him. It gives me a chance to actually meet Jackie. Anyway, a puppy? So cute! You should ask Jimmy and Chantal to name it if you haven't gotten a name yet, they're quite good at naming pets you know?

Good lord Jackie is really grumpy in this chapter or is it just me? I must say it's rather hilarious when the band gets these inner conflicts going on between each other and the nicknames just make it more funny. I love it that Jackie is so protective over his suit too.

I saw what you did there Gerard. Stop staring at Jackie and do something about your growing love for him. Why don't you just straddle him to the wall and kiss the living daylights out of him. That or quote some Oscar Wilde, you'll be sure he loves you more then. The latter is probably safer for your balls though. Knowing Jackie.

Finally Evan got his hair cut, way to go! Maybe now he won't look like a homeless person anymore!

Okay, so I've been reading this for a while [roughly two months, don't blame me, you write really long chapters and I've had revision and stuff], and I just subscribed.

This story is very very very good, especially as I don't usually read stories with OCs and a band, but you pulled it off smoothly and it really works. I only read this story due to it's amazing reputation - at least to begin with - and I'm very glad I did so!

The characters are easily accessable, and can be imagined very easily. I love Jackie's character, and I think that's a really incredible feat, because I tend to only like main characters, and they're hardly ever my favourite characters. I think the bubbly Frank and Evan were the hardest characters for me to get into, mainly due to the stereotype of Frank being very energetic and everything. But the contrast between Evan and Jackie, and Frank and Gerard, is needed, and again, works.

I think my favourite thing about the story is that it isn't rushed, it has a destination and it really does just work. All the characters have been thought out for where they fit into the story, their pasts and their futures, which is excellent really. Thanks for the amazing read. :hug: @ you.

Well, I officially label this as my personal favorite for an original band. I was worried, when I figured out just whom they were, since 90% of original bands that magically tour with a real band suck. But this was constantly interesting. It was particularly pleasing to see the story not revolving around Jackie and Gerard. Everyone in NML amuses me in some way, yet they’re also complex characters. A highlight was when Evan’s past was revealed, I was concerned by how he was so happy, even he does have the issue with a (fairly) secret relationship with Anna.

I’m really glad you avoided putting in MCR lyrics too. They’re good, yeah, but overused. The role of Rise Against disappointed me a bit, since they weren’t actually that frequently involved, I thought. I’m not complaining as such, I understand how they weren’t ever major players, but they’re on the tour, and good friends of the guys, especially since they already new NML so…

I think what does bother me though is Matty being so similar to Evan. Now you’ve got three very similar men who all play guitar, all exuberant… I don’t loathe you for this (that would be extreme!), but you’ve got a great talent for creating characters, why are these three so similar? Or will this change later?

Some of the deeper parts in here please me greatly, you’ve got a very sweet bit about soulmates, that I love enough not to leave a cynical comment about. Some other highlights for me included the times you put in a more common moment to see in stories (interviews, hooking up, day after sex) and managed to make it work for you.

I'm definitely subscribing. You're a very good author. :-)

Okay. I finally caught up; thank God.

I love this story. Just love it :)

I love the way the relationships in this work. The friendships, the romance, the family, it all fits in so perfectly. And realistically, which is what I love the best. I love how the couples interact with each other, and no relationship is the same. It's just...very detailed, in a way. Thought out and everything and everyone has a unique and distinct personality of its own.

Jackie and Cynthia may be the cutest set of friends I've seen. It's clear that they care for each other, but it's also clear that it's a platonic relationship. I think I've said this before but you capture the essence of relationships extremely well.

Something I find really interesting about this chapter is Contessa. I mean, I think it's great that you manage to really express her character well. Without being over the top, you've really nailed her accent and her unique way of talking. After the first two lines, whenever she spoke, i just couldn't get the Russian accent out of my head.

“If you don’t believe in soulmates, what can you ever believe in?”

This part, and the entire bit about soulmates, was probably my favorite. For one, it's a great look into both Contessa's mind and Jackie's relationships. And also, it's just a very interesting idea. The way she talks about soulmates and her ex-husband and her current husband, it's very beautiful, in away. That she can have that kind of outlook, that she can think of her ex-husband in that way, but it's still obvious that she loves her current husband very much. I don't know, how to explain. That kind of view on love (romantic or not) is just so rare, but so beautiful at the same time. And kind of sad in a way. I don't know. I'm just rambling now.

Amazing.

Very nice update, but I have to say, like Gerard, I can't wait for things in the Jackie/Evan household to settle down a bit.

Okay, so I've only just finished reading chapter seven, but god damn is this brilliant! Like, truly, the best fanfiction I've read from what I can judge so far. And I'm sure things can only get better.

*subs then reads more*

I offically love Contessa. Shes way cool.

Poor Gee, I feel bad for him.
Whats his present????? I have an idea, but I dunno.

:lmfao Heh bringing up Frank. Genius m'dear.(ignore the m'dear bit. it just fits.)

I loved the whole discussion between Gerard and Contessa - it was lovely, really. I adore the idea of soulmates, and Jackie being described as a "soulmate whore" was hilarious :XD

I do feel sorry for Gerard, because he has to find a way to deal with the fact that Jackie is extremely close to other people, too. I get the strongest urge to go and give him a great big hug to cheer him up a bit.

And Evan's parents sound like amazing people. I wanna know what he got for a present, though...

The mentioning of Frank atthe end = :lmfao

Ahhhh, a new chapter. Just what I needed in the middle of important exams! :D Now to go read...

The relationship between Jackie and Cynthia is awesome as it's so casual and even though I barely know Cynthia I can picture them together! You're a very, very talented writer to be able to do that.

I feel sorry for Gerard! He's in a house of Jackie's friends, most of which are eccentric, completely out of place. Aw, my darling Gerard! <3

“He is a soulmate whore,” she agreed.
Hahahaha! That line teamed with a Russian accent is pure genius!

Gerard's jealousy is perfectly understandable, and if my boyfriend had so many friends (and ex-girlfriends, AND hints that people have got off with my boyfriend) I'd be jealous too! God, it must be hard for him, especially not knowing Jackie's gender.

Btw, Jackie's SO a boy because he said to Contessa that he wouldn't ever date boys, and he was worried about what people would think if he dated one--this is more usual with guys than a GIRL being worried about dating a guy. So HAH. :D

You can never do things normally, can you? A person would normally knock on the front door and wait for his parents to answer, but NOOOO, Evan has to climb through the window! I love that so much, along with your imagination!

By the way, that chapter wasn't as bad as you made it out to be in your author's note. It was brilliant, as always! :D I love how consistant you are with the awesomeness of your chapters--can't wait for the next one.

Loveee! <333

LOl teh end of teh chapter was funny. Does his parents really think he's gay? Anyhoo Gee needs to wise up and realize that Jackie is a One man's Man and that he shouldn't worry and oh and is it true that Chy has a thing for Jackie? Wow! okay.