Don't Touch Me - Comments

~I’m judging for this contest. ~

Firstly: the rules. The link to my contest was not there. The layout was okay; although I didn’t like that the picture was tiled again. It made it that little bit less easy on the eyes. Grammar was okay, but the commas! You constantly missed them in places such as:
”For I 18 year old Marie Daniels”
For I, 18 year old Marie Daniels.
’"Bye sweet heart! I love you stay safe”’
Bye sweet heart! I love you, stay safe”.

Your writing lacks description. Something to make it more colorful and makes it easier to flow and picture in your mind. You did the kidnapping/rape scene very well, as it was all very fast-paced, which really helped to install the anxiety in the reader.

This part seemed silly:
”I love you," he said quietly, maintaining confident eye contact.
"No you don't," I said, seeing straight through his lies. "Take that back."
She’s been kidnapped, lying isn’t the worst of her problems.

Well-done
Make sure to keep checking the comp page for the results!

I love this story. And I love how you went with the "victim knows her assailant" thing. You had the reactions down. I always enjoy reading your works.

Wow, that was one of the most original I've seen so far. A guy murdering his girlfriend. Pretty intense.

As others have said before me, the intro was great, and it sort of set the mood for the actual story. Plus, keeping me in suspense is just about the best way to go.

Your descriptions were pretty good, and at times made you feel as if you were sort of standing there, looking onto what was happening. So for that, excellent job :)

The ending was pretty amazing, especially the last two lines. They were a good way to get that last little bit of sadness in.

... Criticism, I don't have much of it.
I'm not too big on grammar, so I can't say much for that. Only add some commas in if you can. It's not urgent, and won't change too much, but do it if you can.
As for spelling, that seemed pretty good to me, so...

Oh! And sorry for being so late with this. I could've sworn that I had already commented.
Well, good job and good luck :)

That was really good in a sad way, lol. Just like mine o.O

I like how you're writing with the whole I didn't know then and the fact it's told by a dead girl, that gave an interesting twist.

It was really sad though, at the end - well of course. Her boyfriend murdered her.

The way you fit the prompt in was done very well too.

Good job(:

Right off the bat, I like the small introduction you had. It made me wonder what was going to happen next and it was very interesting.

I loved him, thought he was my "one" but never did I know that I would hate him. Never did I know that he would cause me so much pain. Never did I know that he would be the one to end my life.

There is so much emotion in this small passage and it give a hint about what happens toward the ending, which I like.

I tried desperately again, and again at the knots but they were too tightly tied.

No need for a comma here.

As my footsteps continued I was grabbed from behind. I screamed as loud as I could wishing someone would hear me. I tried to kick free but the persons grasp was to strong. I presumed it was a man by his musky scent. He clasped his hand over my mouth and I bit it. He gasped but kept his hand in place. I was dragged between two houses and blind folded. He placed his hands around my neck and squeezed my throat until I was unconcious. He picked me up and placed me in a vehicle. I came to about five minutes later. I began sobbing, thinking my life was gonna end in seconds, when really it was gonna take minutes.

I could really visualize this scene as I read it.

That was my life, done. Gone like the wind, and all I had left to say was, "If only."

Sad ending and it happened really quickly, but over all it kept me on my toes wondering what was going to happen next. I must say though, that you might want to separate the dialogue from the paragraphs so it isn't so scrunched together, that was it's easier to read. Otherwise, nice job!