Smoke Screen - Comments

That's amazing Tara.
You are indeed a skilled writer.
I literally felt like I was there with them.
You are awesome Sempai.

Yayyayyay Gazeporn~

I loveloveloved it. It flowed really nicely, and there was that touch of realism in the narration which always makes first person stories a lot easier to get sucked into. (I'm generally a fan of third person nowadays, so it makes a difference for me to read and enjoy a first person story ).

I liked the little tibits of personality of both of them that shone through this, too, even though this was only a short piece. And of course, it was hot.

Favourite lines:
He sighed, bringing the almost non-existant cigarette back to his lips. Message received.
Something about the last line made me giggle, probably because it sounded a little sarky, and I love that sort of thing.

I heard a dissatisfying sound from his mouth. "Seems you're broken, seeing as you won't moan for me," he murmured against my neck, moving upward until his lips were a millimeter away from mine. "Looks like I'll have to fix you, then."
I could picture this perfectly in my mind, and damn, it's a hot image.

All n' all, t'is awesome. :D

Geez, Tara!

You have that magic touch with stories
I love how sexy this was; especially the last sentence
I saw him smirk, his lust-filled eyes liking what he was seeing before he kissed me again. His kisses were as soft as feathers, compared to what he did with his hips. Oh God. I gasped and shuddered at the contrasts, bucking into him when he'd grind into me. My legs were growing weak and I unwrapped myself from him, his hands moving to my hips, fingering at the belt buckle and shirt I had on.
I literally squealed at this part

I LOVED IT!~