Peepshow Ruffles - Comments

Words can't even begin to explain how incredible this is. You've captured so many things in just 25 chapters. I'm honestly left speechless. And you may think the ending was rushed but truthfully I find it to be perfect. Especially the last "Satine."
It leaves so many questions, so many places for my mind to wander.
You've captured the essence of Moulin Rouge, so to both of you who wrote this- My metaphorical hat is tipped to your success in writing this story.
I am truly amazed.

You might not know who this is - and lucky for you if you don't because his writing gives me a headache - but the way you describe things reminds me so, so much of Nathaniel Hawthorne's, the author of The Scarlet Letter. Now, DO NOT think your writing gives me a headache. His does because it's set back in like the olden days where there are already all these confusing words to understand as far as what people wore and all the "thee" and "thou" shit. What I mean when I say you remind me of him, is your ability to describe things with so much depth is like, identical. It literally loses your reader, and that can be a bad thing if done the wrong way.

Lucky for you though - and not for him because he's annoying - your words are beautiful and they mesh together so well that you WANT your reader to get lost in them. That part about the kiss and Christian is touching his lips is like, my favorite line in the whole chapter. It's so....it's just gorgeous, woman! Extremely profound and just so well written.

Since I haven't actually read the whole story I can't give you anything as far as...well, that goes. I can just give you what I love about how you write. When someone writes very well, it's not really a big deal to not know what's going on in the story because you can focus on their writing as a whole. I could never, ever write like that. Maybe it's because you write in third person and I usually don't, but damn girl. I'd confuse myself if I ever tried stretching MY brain to the extent yours seems to fall effortlessly into!

You're brilliant and I for one, am impressed as well.

Two chapters in and I adore it. The first chapter made Christian's pain almost unbearable to read, it was just so heart wrenchingly real. I couldn't help but tear up. I also feel deeply for Adele; losing her mother and becoming a prostitute. How could I not feel any sympathy, even if she is fictional. I also love how original the concept is. I haven't seen many people write a historical fiction quite like this. The descriptions are also very lovely. There are few things I love more in writing than authors that use, colorful, vivid, creative descriptions. I felt like I was actually there. I'm going to subscribe right now.

So good. Can you never leave me ever again?
:D

BEST.COMEBACK.EVER!

Love you Coop. Yes, that's right, I called you Coop.

So happy you're back to Mibba.

Who's talented! Both of you are so talented that you're off the scale of talent!

I just adore this story.

Your descriptions are absolutely gorgeous. Every sentence you write is beautifully crafted and it's just a pleasure to read. Straight from the first line I'm drawn into this world of stage and theatre and girls and every little delight that takes place in the Rouge.

Your descriptions of setting and place are my favourites. The paragraph that stood out to me the most was:
"Time had neglected to advance, The Moulin Rouge trapped in a timeless whirlpool of vibrant whores and risqué prestige. Velvet curtains drooped from the ceiling, which bared a dazzling icicle of diamonds, clustered together to make a chandelier that mirrored the stars that lay above it. Sensually dressed harlots infested the theater, creating an atmosphere of breathtaking filth and cheap desire."
It's like this place is suspended in time; while everything around it changes, it stays the same, looking the same, serving the same purpose and will continue to do so for as long as humanely possible. It's a really lovely, thought-provoking image.

It's wonderful.

Ben, you're chapter was so beautiful it made me want to cry.

You write really well! You use a lot of adjectives, and words that seem tangible to your senses. Love it! :)

OMG! Molin Rouge is my fav movie, and I love the story! Please continue!

This is a really good story and I am glad that I got it in the forum :D

The detail and I could actually picture and it relates to the movie so much better than any fan-fiction on this site.

Good job both of you and keep writing :)

Ohmygracious. D:
It's crazy that I have commented this before. </3

This peice is so amazing I'm just stunned. One of the most lovely co-writes I have ever seen. <3 Both of you have a way of putting pictures in my head with that amazing detail of yours and capturing my heart with these amazing words, making me addicted to reading this, aha. That was lame, but you love it. :D <3

Anyways, I came here with the intent of only reading one chapter and then commenting, but I got sucked in and read all the way up to chapter three. ( : <3 Yeah, you guys are pretty awesome. ;)

Oh! I forgot to say what a gorgeous layout this story has. :)
I'm sorry for the sucky comment, aha. I might just go read the rest of the story and then leave this mega huge comment to make up for this, aha.<3

Anywho, you guys are amazing. :D
Fabulous Job with this.<3

O.O Your writing is absolutely beautiful. You have excellent descriptions of people that don't bore me and your layout is pure awesomeness. The description I loved most was this one: Her blazing hair still set alight by compassion, the sparkling diamond glimmering as if she had fallen from the midnight enchantment. Ocean eyes. Luscious, ruby lips of deceit. See? You totally described what she looked like-without boring me. When people usually give character description, they're just so...bland. I love the concept of this! A story within a story is what I got from the first chapter. I've never heard about peepshow ruffles, but I know I'm subbing to this. <3

You paint an interesting picture. Very alive and inanimate at the same time. Fantastical, even. Confusing at times, but lovely all the same.

I'm eager to read moreG, which is rare for me. Good job! Both of you are very skilled writers and this piece was definietly delightful to read. You actually drew me from conversation with my own loved one, just to hear your words. I told him pieces of your story and it seems a human man can never compare again to the love I have of my literature. Thank you for this wonderful story. :D

I love Moulin Rouge with a passion. To be honest, I only read to chapter 8 so far, but I love it. The first chapter was pure poetry, and the layout is gorgeous. The writing is terrific, and I'm enjoying Adele's transition into Santine. I'm really curious where this is going, and I'm definitley going to read the rest of the story later. -subscribes-

Oh wow, I do love the Moulin Rouge story and I'm quite intrigued by this 'after Satine' idea, I wondered if it was only me that wished Christian some happiness after what had happened. Will Adele provide this for him? Subscribing, definitely. You're story telling intrigues me.

You really need to stop being so hard on yourself. I think that's going to be my make or break in this story: whether you can appreciate your talent or not, because you really are great. The more negativity, the less I read.
And I really am enjoying this story quite a lot.

I absolutely adore Moulin Rouge. A piece of my heart will always belong to Satine and Christian, but I also really, really like Adele. She's definitely a cool character. (: She seems a little bit different than Satine, which is pretty cool. I like all the spins you guys put in this :D
Oh, and I have to mention that sometimes you miss a comma or two. Like right here: “Excuse me, sir” Her lips parting to reveal a glorious melody conducted by what could only be mermaids and the gods. “Would you care to dance?”
After sir there needs to be a comma. :]
Other than that, this is lovely! I've been waiting for these updates for a while now, haha! I think I subbed to this, but if I didn't, well, I'm subbing now x]
Great job! <3

Anything I see that mentions Moulin Rouge in the slightest way, I'm down for the count. =) I love this. <3

That knocked me over.
I really wish I'd read it update by update.
That was probably the best writing I've read on here, seriously.
Pure brilliance.
"Her blazing hair still set alight by compassion, the sparkling diamond glimmering as if she had fallen from the midnight enchantment. Ocean eyes. Luscious, ruby lips of deceit."