This was your first contest entry?! That was really amazing, well done!
First off, I'm guessing this is a fictional piece, seeing as your name is Courtney and her name was Valery, but please correct me if I'm wrong. Either way, your writing was really incredible, and you were able to incorporate emotions into there that really drew me in.
I like the way you started the whole letter with a memory, and asking him if he remembered. That really opened up the whole story, and gave me a clue of what would be in it. It also drew me in straight away, so that was really great!
The repitition of the memories is a really good technique, it makes it catchy and flows your writing really well.
'I’m sorry that I didn’t want to hug you that one day. It was weird, you know?' I like the way in those sentences you included him, and made it seem as if he could answer you. Good job!
Just a mistake that I found (and feel free o fix it) is 'You were the troubled boy, though I never knew how trouble.' The last word should be troubled. It's just a typo, so don't worry! :D
Another small error is 'I’ll always remember how the concern that washed over your face.' Take out the the. Otherwise, it's perfect!
Anyways, I thought that paragraph was really good, because it gave me a veiw on two sides of the story, without giving it away. On the one hand, it showed me her insecurites about him liking her, and on the other hand, it showed me the reality. It's really hard to do that when writing, so that's really well done!
'Honestly, I didn’t really. It just would have been nice to see your face again.' I loved those setnences. It's casual, but also emotional. Great job.
I love the use of short, powerful sentences. It really adds depth and power to your writing, which gets through to the reader.
'told you things I couldn’t tell anyone else, you helped me out. I wish I could have helped you out.' Those were my favourite sentences. Very, very powerful and emotional, although you managed to retain the main character's persona and innocence.
'You made me feel like I had a purpose, a reason to be here. I only wish that I could have convinced you of the same.' Exactly the same technique as above, and just as powerful. Incredible job.
The third last paragraph is amazing. Really, it is. It shows exactly how she is feeling and the guilt she is going through, all the while remaining in the same context. Your sentences contradict each other, and that adds emotion to it.
'I just wish I knew why you did it. Why you felt it was your only choice. Why you couldn’t escape everything some other way. I guess that’s a question I’ll be asking for the rest of my life. Why.' Your use of repitition again is amazing. It's very powerful and intriguing, and incredibly emotional.
The last paragraph was the perfect ending to your letter. It sums everything up, and gives the reader a final ounce of emotion. Really incredible.
Overall, your writing is great, especially considering that this is your first contest. You really evoked emotion in me as well as allowing me to connect with the main character, which made your story all the more interesting. Incredible job, and good luck!
I'm so sorry this is later than intended, but I hope it helps you!
First off, I'm guessing this is a fictional piece, seeing as your name is Courtney and her name was Valery, but please correct me if I'm wrong. Either way, your writing was really incredible, and you were able to incorporate emotions into there that really drew me in.
I like the way you started the whole letter with a memory, and asking him if he remembered. That really opened up the whole story, and gave me a clue of what would be in it. It also drew me in straight away, so that was really great!
The repitition of the memories is a really good technique, it makes it catchy and flows your writing really well.
'I’m sorry that I didn’t want to hug you that one day. It was weird, you know?' I like the way in those sentences you included him, and made it seem as if he could answer you. Good job!
Just a mistake that I found (and feel free o fix it) is 'You were the troubled boy, though I never knew how trouble.' The last word should be troubled. It's just a typo, so don't worry! :D
Another small error is 'I’ll always remember how the concern that washed over your face.' Take out the the. Otherwise, it's perfect!
Anyways, I thought that paragraph was really good, because it gave me a veiw on two sides of the story, without giving it away. On the one hand, it showed me her insecurites about him liking her, and on the other hand, it showed me the reality. It's really hard to do that when writing, so that's really well done!
'Honestly, I didn’t really. It just would have been nice to see your face again.' I loved those setnences. It's casual, but also emotional. Great job.
I love the use of short, powerful sentences. It really adds depth and power to your writing, which gets through to the reader.
'told you things I couldn’t tell anyone else, you helped me out. I wish I could have helped you out.' Those were my favourite sentences. Very, very powerful and emotional, although you managed to retain the main character's persona and innocence.
'You made me feel like I had a purpose, a reason to be here. I only wish that I could have convinced you of the same.' Exactly the same technique as above, and just as powerful. Incredible job.
The third last paragraph is amazing. Really, it is. It shows exactly how she is feeling and the guilt she is going through, all the while remaining in the same context. Your sentences contradict each other, and that adds emotion to it.
'I just wish I knew why you did it. Why you felt it was your only choice. Why you couldn’t escape everything some other way. I guess that’s a question I’ll be asking for the rest of my life. Why.' Your use of repitition again is amazing. It's very powerful and intriguing, and incredibly emotional.
The last paragraph was the perfect ending to your letter. It sums everything up, and gives the reader a final ounce of emotion. Really incredible.
Overall, your writing is great, especially considering that this is your first contest. You really evoked emotion in me as well as allowing me to connect with the main character, which made your story all the more interesting. Incredible job, and good luck!
I'm so sorry this is later than intended, but I hope it helps you!