Review; To be honest, my initial thoughts of this was, “Here we go. This is going to be a downright bore. But I gotta read it”. To be honest, several things made me frown upon reading this. Firstly, the concept of god doesn’t capture my imagination. I’m very atheist like that. So when I saw the title, right form the beginning I was dreading it. I thought this would be something like a insanity-ridden Christian killing because “God told him to do so”, and that would have been a very risky move. Also, the layout didn’t seem to connect with the title, it was very conflicting. I was wondering what I had gotten myself into. As I was reading, the storyline seemed a bit disjointed. You could almost have passed it off as three different murders from three different people had you not started out with Oliver, and hadn’t mentioned Mina’s transformation character to character. Also, the story started out rather confusing, what with the sickly youth and all.
But as I read on, I became quite fond of the piece. Sure, some of the lines didn’t quite flow together, but I thought it was a rather ingenious idea. Of course, I would have suggested breaking each muder up into different chapters, just to make it slightly less confusing. I kept wondering why she had just killed one guy and was now at another’s. But at the end of it, I was smiling. Like those movies, where the whole way through your like “What the truck is going on?” and then, in the last scene, something happens that ties the whole two or so hours together and you get up and leave and think, “Fuck, that was good!” Comment; That was very good. As I finished reading that, I thought that was a rather creative peice. I loved the gore in it, it was explained perfectly and the words, though slightly disjointed, managed to create an unblemished picture in my mind. I congratulate you greatly on this peice. Though, may I make a suggestion? The title, the layout, and the summary are all beautiful in their own way, and they tie in perfectly with the story, but they shan't be very appealing to the public eye. I believe this may be the reason why I am the first to comment. Other than that, you have done very well indeed.
Please bare in mind, the review is merely my initial reaction to the story. I have written this as my way to critic the stories and choose a winning place, by finding pro's and con's in each entry. Don't take any of it the wrong way, take it merely as con-crit, as that is why I have decided to post it within this comment. So that by the time the winners are drawn, you may see why or why ou haven't placed.
But as I read on, I became quite fond of the piece. Sure, some of the lines didn’t quite flow together, but I thought it was a rather ingenious idea. Of course, I would have suggested breaking each muder up into different chapters, just to make it slightly less confusing. I kept wondering why she had just killed one guy and was now at another’s. But at the end of it, I was smiling. Like those movies, where the whole way through your like “What the truck is going on?” and then, in the last scene, something happens that ties the whole two or so hours together and you get up and leave and think, “Fuck, that was good!”
Comment; That was very good. As I finished reading that, I thought that was a rather creative peice. I loved the gore in it, it was explained perfectly and the words, though slightly disjointed, managed to create an unblemished picture in my mind. I congratulate you greatly on this peice. Though, may I make a suggestion? The title, the layout, and the summary are all beautiful in their own way, and they tie in perfectly with the story, but they shan't be very appealing to the public eye. I believe this may be the reason why I am the first to comment. Other than that, you have done very well indeed.
Please bare in mind, the review is merely my initial reaction to the story. I have written this as my way to critic the stories and choose a winning place, by finding pro's and con's in each entry. Don't take any of it the wrong way, take it merely as con-crit, as that is why I have decided to post it within this comment. So that by the time the winners are drawn, you may see why or why ou haven't placed.