Never Sent, Always Thought - Comments

This story made me cry. It reminded me of the past nine years my mother has spent with her "boyfriend". I'm shaking right now, partially from memories and partially because I feel so much for these fictional characters. Has anything like this happened to you? You make every thing seem so real. I love it.
There are a few spelling errors though, that could easily be fixed if you read through it again(: I'm guessing it was supposed to be "to" but instead there is just "o". Simple fixes(:
Please, please finish. And hopefully a happy ending!

AUTHOR POST -
welp I just read the last chapter and kind of made myself cry, but I'm counting my late night in as a factor and we're not going to talk about how egoistic it is to cry over your own writing. I am considering finishing this though, here's hoping I find the plan I've had written out for it for at least a year.

You should update this, I like it a lotxD

I love this, Gemma. I thought I would casually stalk your stories and this just so happened to be the first one I clicked on, because I love the idea of writing letters in one's mind. I was hooked immediately. Firstly, the layout is lovely, and captivating all at the same time. The fact that you said sorry to Ethan and Logan was also amazingly enticing.
I love the length of the chapters. It keeps it interesting and meant that I didn't just skim over chapters, which I am sometimes guilty of doing. It also meant that the sotry moved on quickly, but not too quickly. I still found myself getting attached to the characters, and right now, I was to find Logan and just cuddle him. And give him hot chocolate. And tell him that everything will be okay.
I just have my fingers crossed for a happy ending, because noone deserves what Logan is going through!
Keep going with this! I love it (: (and it should have way more comments and loving.)
♥

I'm enthusiastic about this. IT's so amazing and the writing is wonderful and I just . . . love it. And I--like you--don't exactly HATE Ethan either.

This is really, really good. Like, I'm not sure quite how to explain it, because it's not exactly a happy plotline, yaknow, but this is really beautifully written, and I love it. If that doesn't make me sound too morbid. I don't know. But it's amazing, and I've subscribed :3

That poor baby<3
Update soon!

It gave me the shivers

Please tell me Logan gets out and soon! My heart literally breaks whenever he hurts!
And argh - Ethan deserves to be pushed into a never ending bottomless pit. Just saying.
Update soon!
*suscribes!*

oh logan
get out while you still can

That was so sweet in the beginning, and then so sad at the end. :/
Update soon!

Oh, thank GOD you're back!<333
I've been missing this dearly!
I feel so bad for my poor baby! D: All those kids can go suck it!
Update sooner, yes?<333

oh logan
you naive little boy :[

b]Layout & Summary
I really like how subtle and simple your layout is. The cool grey tones with the banner work well, and it makes the story easy on the eyes. That’s always a good thing for me, considering the many neon layouts that run amuck on Mibba really hurt my eyes. I like the simplety of yours. ^_^

Also, I like how you used part of a letter as the summary. It makes it very intriguing for me. I always like starting off a story in a way that’s going to get me hooked immediately and you, you amazing writer, you, have done just that, as you did with the last two previous works that I’ve commented on. I think the apology at the end of your summary is a nice touch, as well. Not only does it serve to make me curious as to what you’re apologizing for, it also shows that as a writer, you care about your characters—which means that you’ve put a lot of effort into your writing. And that is something that can make anything enjoyable.

I’m looking forward to starting reading this. ^_^

Chapter One
Though the first chapter is short, it serves its purpose well, I think. It makes me really believe that Logan does love this Ethan character. It’s also nice to know right off the bat how they met. The only bit of criticism that I have—and it’s small, I promise!—is that I’m not quite sure if Ethan kissed Logan right away on that first day, and if Logan grabbed his hand before they had really known each other. That’s the only thing that confused me even a little bit. Reading back over the first paragraph, it sounds like that’s what happened, and if so, awesome for them but…I’ve never really understood the whole concept of love at first sight like that, especially in a gay relationship. However, that doesn’t take away from the fact that it’s an excellent way to start off this story, and I’m eager to see what else you’ve got written up for me to read. ^_^

Chapter Two
I’m liking the fact that you’ve written this so far in a letter format. It seems to make the story more personal, and in doing so, it pulls me into Ethan and Logan’s world. I always like it when something like that happens, and this isn’t an exception. I really like how Logan described the kiss. Considering my own first kiss quite frankly sucked, and I’ve never kissed anyone that was any good at it, it makes me happy to see that you gave Logan an amazing first kiss, in his words. I always think that a first kiss should be like the ones you see in the movies, even if that doesn’t happen in real life sometimes. XD Also, I like how you pulled in a little bit of description and told me what color Ethan’s eyes are. I can start building up a character in my head now to go with the name, and for me that’s always fun. It’s kind of like the Build-A-Bear-Workshop, but for writers. XD Lame pun, I know, but it’s true. I don’t have any criticism for this chapter at all. It was simply stunning in all it’s three short paragraphs.

Chapter Three
Yet another glimpse into the relationship. I think it’s very interesting that you chose to write about Ethan’s hands in this chapter. I can’t say I’ve had a whole lot of experience with holding hands, but I can definitely relate to Logan’s hands being sweaty. I can also relate to the fact that he doesn’t want to let go of Ethan even though his palms are in such a state of sweatiness; I’ve felt that way about someone before, and so I can definitely now find myself relating to Logan’s character more. You pull in small details that most people might not really pay attention to in a relationship—the flavor of the kiss in the last chapter, the hand-holding in this chapter—and I love that. It makes it so enjoyable to read something that has me guessing, and reliving the one relationship that I’ve had that still makes me feel the way Logan feels for Ethan. I feel as if I’m watching this on TV, and it’s so good that I can’t stop. ^_^

Chapter Four
I love how you described how Ethan has the confidence to ask Logan out for dinner. It was romantic, yet not in the cheesy sort of way. It was cute, and I could envision the scene very clearly in my head—a white house with green shutters on a concrete stoop, black door with three small windows, and rain pouring down from the Seattle sky. For some reason, I envision this story being in Seattle, where it rains all the time. Maybe it’s because of the neutral color palate of the layout, maybe it’s because there’s an underlying sense of sadness under Logan’s letters. Either way, it’s brilliant. As I’ve said often throughout this review, I love it when I can envision things clearly—things like the house that I see this taking place in front of, etc. etc. It’s something that doesn’t happen often to me as a reader, and when it does, I’m floored.

The only thing I got confused on in this chapter was the bit where you said, You locked your fingers with mine and held them so I couldn’t leave him. Did you mean you where you said him? I think that’s what you meant, but I’m not 100% positive. That’s the only thing that made me scratch my head for a moment, and it was only for a few seconds before I got on with the rest of the chapter.

Chapter Five
I liked this chapter as well. I got that feeling of butterflies in my stomach as I remembered how I felt the first time I had a guy come over to my house—I didn’t go on a date with him, but that’s irrelevant, the butterflies were there. XD—and I feel almost as if I’m standing in Logan’s bedroom with him as he’s flitting about the bedroom getting ready anxiously. I also like how you pulled in the embarrassing story, because parents do often do things like that, even without meaning to, and it brought another sense of realness to the story that some stories seem to lack. Your word choice is good too. In the States, cinema isn’t used often, and is replaced with either movies or theater, but I find myself preferring cinema, since that’s a much more poetic word in my opinion. I still find it stunning how you can manage to write so simply yet with such elegance. It’s beautiful is what it is.

Chapter Six
I giggled when Logan said that he didn’t particularly enjoy the chick flick, but wasn’t going to say anything. I can’t say I relate, but I can definitely imagine how strongly Logan must feel for Ethan if he’s not going to say something. Because even if it’s something so small as that, when you really care about something, you’re willing to do small things like that without complaining. And I really feel that sense of devotion coming from Logan. It’s a nice breath of relief from some of those other stories that are out there that are all sappy and unrealistic and just oozing with sickly sweetness. Yours is a different kind of sweet. It’s the kind that also has a bit of bitterness with it, and I love it. I also like how you explained how Logan felt when Ethan said he wouldn’t break up with him. It does remind me of something one of my previous ex’s—I dumped him, for the record—and…it almost makes me remember when he was a good boyfriend. XD Kudos on that. ^_^

Chapter Seven
I love how you described their make out session in front of his house after the movie. It was romantic and sweet and…sad, all at the same time. This chapter reminds me for some reason that you apologized to them at the beginning, and it makes me know that paradise isn’t going to last forever between Logan and Ethan. I’m beginning to feel bad for Logan, and I just want to give him a big hug for some reason.

Another very realistic thing about this chapter that I liked is that Logan remembered the exact phrasing of the text his mother sent. Little things like that stick in your memory—I know I have strange recollections like that from when I was with previous boyfriends—and it makes it all the more realistic and enjoyable for me to read. Also, I like how you phrased it poetically with It was my mother who stopped paradise.

Chapter Eight
I want to point out the two small errors I noticed in this chapter right away before I get into the good—and there’s a lot of that. The Matrix should be either underscored or italicized, because it’s a movie series. Also, I noticed in the second chapter, you wrote his when you meant this. Just a very slight error, but it’s much more noticeable in the shortness of the letters. Now to the good, because I hate leaving stuff in like that.

I loved how you gave a sense of ease in this chapter. Like Logan said, it was more hanging out than an actual date. I prefer those kinds of dates myself, and oftentimes find them more romantic than going out to dinner and a movie. Also, I like how this movie series isn’t exactly a chick flick, which means that maybe Logan will enjoy it more because he doesn’t like chick flicks. XD Also, I like how you threw in the joke about his sexuality. It made it even more realistic, because the most fun dates always have an air of ribbing to them.

The last sentence made me laugh. A lot. It’s…sweet. And, just envisioning the whole scene, it makes me laugh and feel good that Logan’s having a good time with Ethan, even if it’s just for now.

Chapter Nine
I noticed in the first chapter that you turned Ethan’s eyes to grey-blue rather than seafoam green, which is just a very small detail that most people wouldn’t notice but I thought I’d point out. All writers make small inconsistencies like that, and I think we all appreciate it when someone points it out to us, so I thought I’d mention it, if only briefly. Also, when you said could of instead of could have…although, when I think about it…I often say the first rather than the latter, so…maybe you’re trying to convey the way that Logan talks? I don’t know. I just wanted to point it out. ^_^

I love how this chapter is really where the first bit of drama starts. I can feel the anxiety building up, wondering how bad the first fight is going to be, but also feeling relieved that it’s only the first fight, not the last. Which means they got over it. I’m rambling. Ahem. I liked the fact that you kept to Ethan’s personality in the sense that he’s confident enough to give Logan that kind of affection during school. I myself was nowhere near that confident with my boyfriend in school—I keep mentioning him and I’m not sure why…--and so I can also relate to how Logan has that feeling in the pit of his stomach that’s not a good feeling. Like everyone is watching and judging. I might not be gay, but straight couples get that kind of feeling too, and it’s not a nice feeling. You did an excellent job of portraying the emotions and realness here.

Chapter Ten
Do I sense a little abuse coming on? I rather felt annoyed with Ethan when he said those things about Logan’s friends. Once again, I’m drawing from personal experience when I say this—my ex was the same way, and it’s one of the reasons he’s my ex and not a current boyfriend. It kind of pissed me off at Ethan and made me want to punch him in that confident little head of his. Who’s he to say who’s good for Logan and who’s not? I’m rambling again, aren’t I? Oh, dear…

I liked the emotions. I could feel the desperation, and the angst, and the anger radiating from both sides. It’s amazing how you can make me feel so much with just a few words, Gemma. It really is. And I love it.

Chapter Eleven
I think that Ethan is definitely an abusive, manipulative jerk right now. He’s controlling and dominating and, if he was real, I might actually have to hit him. And that’s why I’m loving this story so much—I feel connected to your characters. I feel empathy for Logan and anger for Ethan. And I really, really love it that you can make me feel that way about characters. It’s wonderful.

I can feel the sadness and hopefulness that Logan is feeling at the same time. Conflicting emotions, I know, but that’s what I sense that he might be feeling. He wants the relationship to work, but I think deep inside he realizes that if Ethan loved him that much, he wouldn’t have made him abandon his friends like that.

Chapter Twelve
Have I mentioned that I want to knock Ethan out? I think I have. And that continued with this chapter. He’s such a prick! It’s so awesome that you can make me feel so negatively about a character. Because right now, I really want to hit him. I’ll settle for putting a slashout through his name.Ethan. There. I feel a little better.

I can really relate to how Logan is starting to feel. Not the abuse part; I’ve never allowed myself to be abused, or cared enough about someone to put up with it, but…I can feel the hopelessness and desperation and pain that Logan is feeling. And it makes me just wanna give him a big mug of cocoa, put on some Avenged Sevenfold for him, and give him a big, huge hug. ^_^

Chapter Thirteen
Yep. This is definitely getting angsty. And now I know why you apologized to them both. I find it a relief that Ethan stormed out. Too often, a writer will just throw sexual abuse left and right in a story—and it’s not something to be made light of. I like how you’re making Ethan be abusive in an emotional aspect. He’s making Logan feel like shit. And though I hate him for it, that’s what his character is supposed to make me feel. I’m going to relate this to the WWE wrestlers, when a wrestler is using a gimmick to make the fans hate them. I know it’s a really, really lame pun, but…that’s how I can relate to this.

I love the word choice you used. Ethan isn’t just halfassing the abuse. It’s real. It’s raw. And that’s why it’s so awesome to read. It’s more than just a hit here and an insult there. It’s deep, painful abuse that goes through the skin and straight to the heart. I almost want to cry for Logan right now, but if I start I know I won’t stop, which means that the rest of the chapter reviews will be sucky and I don’t want to do that. XD So I will refrain from crying.

Chapter Fourteen
What. An. Asshole. I mean, was it really necessary for him to make Logan feel even more like shit? I mean that in a good way, of course. I’ve gotten so into this story that I find myself talking to the screen like when I talk to the screen during movies. XD I also like how you made it so that Logan’s mother likes Ethan. It adds depth to this; it isn’t the whole, boring stereotype of, ‘boy hates parents, parents hate boy, parents hate boy’s boyfriend,’ kind of scenario, and I love that. You deserve a cookie for that. Here. Have one.

I like how, gradually, the letters are getting longer. It’s showing how complex Logan’s emotions are getting, and how conflicted he is internally about his relationship. I love abuse stories, and this is turning out to be one of my favorites.

Chapter Fifteen
One small spelling error in this chapter. You said you in the third paragraph, second to last line when you meant your.

Can I have permission to physically assault Ethan in my mind? I think another slashout is necessary.Ethan. What a jerk. He hits Logan to prove a point? What point?! Sorry. I’m rambling again. That’s what this story tends to make me do. XD I love it. I love how…pulled into this that I’m getting. I love how…in depth this is, and how…well, how complex it is. It’s more than just abuse. There’s love involved. And that makes it so much better of a read.

Chapter Sixteen
I love the element in this story. All the taunting and jeering that those boys were tossing his way, and the way that Sam keeps staring at him. I don’t think she’s mad at him, so much as worried. I got the sense earlier that she was one of his best friends, and I know from experience that best friends can often tell when something is off—and I think that’s exactly what she’s feeling right now, and that’s why she’s staring at him.

I also love the way you get so in depth with the feelings. It’s so…deep. So intense. It’s so awesome. It’s just…yeah. There’s no words for it, so I should just shut up and stop rambling but…I can’t. XD It’s so awesome to feel this great about a story. =D

Chapter Seventeen
So now he’s drinking? Is he even legal age? Well, I’m not sure what the legal age over there is. But over here, if he’s not 21 that’s a minor and I say arrest him for minor in possession and minor in consumption! XD That way he can’t hit Logan anymore, and Logan can get back to the sweet, loving, unbruised boy he used to be. But then there wouldn’t be a story, and I might not be as in love with this story, so let’s keep Ethan unarrested for the time being. XD

I love how you described the following Monday when the girls asked him how he could let himself be hit, and how Kyle introduced himself. It shows that the school is starting to open their eyes and realize that there is something very wrong going on in Logan’s life. And unlike what Ethan told him, someone is giving him a second glance. I just hope this story doesn’t take a tragic end that leaves us with a dead Logan and a murderer Ethan. Because then a slashout isn’t gonna work, and I’m going to like....kill him in my head or something. XD I love how emotional this story is making me, as I’ve told you throughout the last six pages of this review. O.O

Chapter Eighteen
Uh oh. Why do I have a feeling that Ethan is going to rape Logan? Oh, dear. This is…sad. I feel…constricted. Nervous. Anxious. I feel…scared, almost. For Logan. I love how you’ve brought Kyle in again and had him start pestering Logan for more advice. At first, he was just a bully but now, he’s caring. He’s giving Logan a second glance. He’s trying to help, even without really helping. It’s almost heartwarming. No, scratch that. It is heartwarming.

I feel the tragedy starting to build up. I can feel the conflicted emotions that Logan must feel—to say that Ethan has to bruise him to keep him safe, that’s got to be a helluva deep and internal wound. What makes it even more tragic is the fact that it’s still so blatantly obvious that Logan loves Ethan. And that’s really what makes this story so magical. The love aspect. It shows that love tries to conquer everything, even the abuse one can put another through.

I’m beginning to wonder if I was wrong about Sam, as well. Why would she shoulder barge him? It’s…making me wonder.

Chapter Nineteen
You misspelt same in the second line of the first paragraph. Just thought I’d point that out. In the second paragraph, you didn’t capitalize I. It’s in the first line. Also, the last line of the second paragraph kind of confuses me. I’m not sure what you’re trying to say with it other than that Logan definitely doesn’t want what Ethan is doing. Which brings me to the next phase of my review…

H, dear. I was right. He’s raping my dear little Logan. Screw the whole ‘no crying’ thing that I had going on. I’m positively bawling right now. I feel so helpless, like what Logan feels. Scared, and alone and…violated. I’ve kind of had experience with molestation, so I’m definitely pulling in those feelings, and it’s just making it all so real. And it’s brilliant.

I….wow. I’m speechless. That whole scene. The way you wrote that…it was just…oh, wow. I’m so…stunned. It was absolutely the best rape scene I’ve ever seen written on Mibba, and actually in most published books that I’ve read. It was beautiful, and raw, and emotional and so…deep. So…I felt so connected to the story. You deserve another cookie. Have another.

And the police at the end just…gives so much more amazingness. I’m hoping that Ethan gets arrested and that Logan tells them what he did, but a part of me feels as if that bastard is going to worm his way out of it somehow. I mean that word in the best way possible, though. I love hating a character this much.

Chapter Twenty
That weasel! I knew he’d get out of it. Logan! I’ma smack you over the head! Why didn’t you say something? Oh…right, because of that silly little thing called ‘love.’ That thing that’s making him so blind right now that he couldn’t reach out for help if he wanted. But yet, a part of me is beginning to hope that maybe, just maybe, he’s going to reach out and get someone’s help. Maybe Kyle? Perhaps Sam, if she’ll stop shoulder-barging him? Maybe even the police who left?

Chapter Twenty-One
Awww, Logie! Don’t feel like that. You don’t need him. You didn’t do anything wrong, it’s all Ethan. He’s the jackass in the equation, not you. Don’t feel like you need to stay silent to keep him. Hell, don’t keep him.

Have I mentioned lately how much I love this story? I don’t think I can say it enough. XD

Chapter Twenty-Two
This last chapter is deep, even though it’s short. It brings back the memory of how sweet everything was in the beginning, when Logan was living at home with his mom and dad and when things were good between Ethan and Logan. It was good, in the sad sort of way. I’m sad to see that it’s the last chapter you’ve got up for me to review, but you can be assured that I’m subscribing.

Overall
This. Shit. Is. Amazing. I love it. It’s brilliant and beautiful in a dark sort of way, and it makes me feel all these crazy emotions and…you’re an amazing writer. I’m so sorry it took so long to get your final review to you for the contest, but I hope it was worth the wait.

write more?
pleaassee?

God, those last two lines killed me.
Update soon<333333

I don't know why more people haven't commented on this, because I absolutely love it. This has actually made me cry -- several times, in fact. And the whole rape scene? I predicted it, but when I read it, I still felt sick. I love the emotion, how everything is written; just beautiful.
I'm very glad I found this. [: I hope you update soon. I will be sure to comment<3333333

okay, i needa bookmark this page because NO WAY ON UR FLIPPEN PAGE DOES IT SAY "GEMMA's STORIES".

x]hehe dont take my lovely anger problem as an offence. I ish just showing how much i love this story.

For story:
i is so sad for logan... **tears** he's been getting hurt.. and he takes it as if he deserves it... its horrible DD:

I am so looking forward to another chapter :] I'm looking forward to the part when Logan actually understands (if he ever will) what is happening to him.

awwww
poor logan

I WANNA KILL ETHAN!
ugh.. this upsets me.
Logan isn't doing anything.. and i'm just so upset that he's letting all this happen and forgiving Ethan.
damn it!
*wolf growls and mutters* Ima chew his head off with an an Avada Kedavra.... HMPH!