Cowgirls Don't Cry - Comments

umm and ushould probley change the highth of the andalusian to 15.5 so it's a horse and not a pony... sorry if this sound rude i dont mean to be it just really bugs me when ppl don't have there facts straight about horse. but i really love this short story.

this is really good or at least i thing so.

Cowgirls Don’t Cry

Chapter 1

I love this chapter. The emotions in it were fantastic. I found that Mahogany was a real person that I could relate to.

Only one error:
Mr. Socks walked over the the white hat , this should be ‘ to the’.

Chapter 2

The turning point of the story(That’s how I see it, anyway.) was grand. It had meaning and compassion. The way you confused her emotions was brilliant.

Chapter 3

As good as this chapter was, I felt you could have described a bit more of the landscape and surroundings. I understand that you mainly empathize on her emotions, which is okay, but I want to see what is going on, not just feel it. The prompt went well with the chapter. You did a great job!

Chapter 4

This was really well written, but I would have liked to know what Mahogany did to almost kill George.

Then I’ll make hi watch as I kill her.” ‘hi’ should be ‘ him’

Chapter 5

So far, this chapter was really good. I liked how you brought Kolt back in to the story.

Alax had her little nose pressed against the trucks window as the Montana mountains rolled slowly by. ‘mountains’ should be capitalized.
Making sure Alax was out of the wayi jump in and begin to lead the Andalusia out. ’wayi’ should be ’way I’
Kolt gave a small nod, then called the fox to him, “It’s always been yours.” ‘,then’ should be ’,and then’

Chapter 6

This was my favorite chapter. I loved how you ended it.

[u The Whole Story

I loved the photos, but they do not compare to a great description. I want to be able to hear what Mahogany thinks of her daughter and of Kolt. Something like, ‘Alaxandra’s red curls flew behind her, as she raced to see her father.’ Not exactly like that, but ou know what I mean.

I loved the story, though. It was magnificent! Keep writing and expand your awesome skills.

wow that was a good story. =)