This is so heartbreaking. You know, and what makes it even more heartbreaking are the things I see there, the things I'm sure you put there to deal with them. And I hate that, not because this would be shit written, hell no, but because I wish you would write something happy and I'd know it's because you are happy, finally. But now I went a little off topic. I just wanted to say that is beautiful, the emotions are heartbreakingly real and just... Yeah.
PS: Lolita is an amazing book.