Thanks for the review, I have corrected some mistakes. Waiting to see the review for chapter five :)
August 27th, 2010 at 04:07pm
So there were a few mistakes.
In the first chapter you said there house for "their house".
In the second chapter you put Priscilla, but then it changed back to Bridgette.
Chapter three ; Bridgette maoved should be Bridgette moved. Asthe should be as the.
I upheld my end of the bargain the way to Elena is clear. Should either be something like "I upheld my end of the bargain ensuring the way to Elena is clear." or "I upheld my end of the bargain; the way to Elena is clear."
Honorius Fell's casket Damon You skipped a period between casket and Damon. Then in the same paragraph, many of the commas were supposed to be periods.
Chapter four ; fell should be feel. You also made some capitalization errors after the commas as well as the comma for a period issue.
dounle bed I am assuming this to be "double bed" or "trundle bed".
I will finish with the review for chapter five shortly.