Atelophobia - Comments

I love the photo you've used. I was in a pageant once but I guess that because I didn't smile my mom decided to never put me back in one. I think I got runner up or something? That was good enough for me haha. But the piece is written nicely, there were a few spelling errors here and there. I like the idea you have, that her need to be perfect on stage is effecting her mentally and physically with the anorexia and what not. It's interesting to see what cuases such things. However, there were quite a few parts where I felt that there could've been a little bit more. Otherwise, nice job. :]

I've never been one to be involved in pageants or anywhere near them, but I feel like... as Alexander Bernadotte said, you hit the nail right on the head. I've seen the ideals of pageants on movies, and the whole idea of just being perfect in them, and it bums me out that people think like that - and it bummed me out that Andrea now has that mentality. I think the summary contributes greatly to the actual story, where she's in the audience watching and aspires to be like her cousin. It sets the mood sort of - and with a big hint hint.

After I finished reading, it kind of reminded me of the movie Black Swan. It's kind of creepy, that mindset, and I think you really did display atelophobia perfectly. You'd think you can easily snap someone out of that way of thinking, but here you portrayed how one thinks in that situation and how it's not so simple. I really did enjoy reading this, it's quite interesting. Wonderful job with this piece :')

I can really say that being a pageant girl/dancer/model, you've hit the nail right on the head with this. This girl really had a problem with imperfection - and you captured it perfectly.
This is awesome! I can't really say anything else, as you left me speechless x]
Good luck and thanks for entering! <3