Between Two Lungs. - Comments

I was browsing around the site looking for a lite read and I came across this and I love the extended metaphor, it's almost like reading a fairytale, without the happy ending. So glad I stumbled upon this!

This allegory was so fucking beautiful. <3 The way you shaped it to fit the entire body and soul made it so easy to face down at myself and see how much it all made sense. And your language and style existed to elaborate. And thank god, because your words work so systematically, like a human body all of its own. You are explanatory, but spiritual in your words, and they are so personal and I can hear your voice leaking through the descriptions and on-going ideas.

"A few people had tried to conquer the land...and never truly affected the working of the land." This whole paragraph, the ideas that start here... oh my god. <3 It makes my heart react so deeply, as I'm overwhelmed with visualistic glories that have everything to do with human beings.

This ends in a sort of... lonely place. But a self-sufficient place, and in a matter of fact form rather than on a particular sad note. Even if brings with it so many more ideas that just expand in my brain and are inherited right into my skin. Because you are so right... every human, a kingdom, every kingship a leader. Even if the leader is the nature of the Earth itself. This was so beautiful. And expressed through such perfected words.

I've never before listened to Florence and the Machine, so I used your source of inspiration as a soundtrack while reading this, and let me tell you, it fits perfectly.

I love your use of metaphors, how this land represents the heart, and how the heart can be easily damaged by those ugly frogs that are allowed in and show no respect for such a beautiful land.

I loved the narration style you used, the story-telling style that galaxies. mentioned. It was like reading a long lost fairy tale about a land that once existed, a land that allowed in those who deserved it, yet they never respected this land enough; therefore the "No Man's Land" remains closed nowadays.

I just have to say it again, your beautiful use of metaphors captivated me. They were gorgeous.

By the end, my eyes were watering. I could feel that hand tugging at my heart as you described those thorns tightening around No Man's Land. Your descriptions are absolutely brilliant; it's so easy to relate to them, because, in all honestly, who has never felt those thorns that remain after a heartbreak?

And the ending was so realistic. How the heart no longer wants to suffer after it has healed itself for the last time. How it closes to never be opened again, or at least until there's something capable enough to trust the heart with.

I simply adored this story. The plot was so original, those metaphors were brilliant, and the descriptions got me crying. You have an amazing writing style.

I adore Florence and the Machine, which was the original reason I clicked on the story, but your writing kept me transfixed in my seat. This was a gorgeous piece. I was incredibly taken with the metaphor of "No Man's Land" being the heart; it took me a second to work it out, it was so intricately woven into the story. Through the whole first paragraph, I was just so swept away in the beautiful storytelling that I hardly thought about what it was supposed to represent. Admittedly, the banner should have given it away; it's a lovely picture, and a lovely layout.

It was such a perfect story, coming to a bittersweet end that just seemed...perfect. The language was exquisite. I absolutely loved it, from start to finish.

This was beautiful, to say the least that is. The metaphorical language made such beautiful imagery and the words flowed really nicely. I was going to say prettily but realised that made no sense. I also really really liked the emotive parts to it, but that’s something I really love in stories.

There’s no much I can say because it was just wonderful.

one shot for one shot

oh my gosh. This is seriously, astounding. Your wording was perfect and I LOVED the comparison of hearts to lands that can be conquered. Your imagery is amazing and imaginative and this was all in all, very, very well done. Beautiful.

Oh my goodness. This is absolutely beautiful. The metaphors and action you created, along with all the imagery, was perfect.
...the scars of the frogs would become bedtime tales to tell the restless blood cells, a moral clinging to every heartbeat. Every cloud has a silver lining, every land has its rightful prince. - That's my favorite snippet. Although it's all amazingly written, that last line gave me chills. Your descriptions were flawless.
Awesome job. :D

This is really beautiful, the way your words are so descriptive paint a wonderful picture in the minds eye. I enjoy how often you use the word land, which if I'm reading correctly is a metaphor for heart? it's beautiful, you did a wonderful job.

One shot for one shot.

This is incredible.
You've got an incredible way with words.
I've never read anything this close to perfection on this website.
It had a great amount of emotion and whatnot.
Great job.

Beautiful.

One-Shot for One-Shot
I made a mistake on commenting on the other one instead of this one, so I'm commenting on this one now, obviously x]

Between two lungs lies No Man’s Land.
^ I really like this sentence. No Man's Land is the heart, right?

Sonny Moore. said everything better than I can say it. I love how this was based on a song - by my favorite band x] - and how you go on about No Man's Land and how delicate it is. You've got a lovely way with words. (: I truly can't express how amazing this is.

Lovely job! <3

Freaking hell Vee!
Best thing you've ever written, it was amazing and stunning and just pure brilliance.
you know how much i fail at these so imma shut up now.
i loved it. <3

First off, layout is gorgeous and the title is absolutely perfect. It may be a song but by god, it's beautiful. You certainly have a way with words Miss Incredible. I could never write sopmething nearly worth of comparison never mind think. I like how you've made me think that it's like, a human almost. 'Cause even though land can be vulnerable and delicate, human's can too. Maybe that's just me. It's just absolutely wonderful when you go on about how the land doesn't have a leader and how it wasn't easy to rule. It's just amazing how no one could control it really. I just, Vee, your descriptions are absolutely incredible and you really need to share some of the talent you have with me. The way you've made ugly become beautiful is itself beautiful. It amazes me. Job well done and I am absolutely glad that you got inspiration for this idea! :)