Robin - Comments

I love how strange and unique this was - but it was perfect. Like sobre mi cadaver said, this piece was gorgeous. It was nothing like I've ever read before. And I loved how the little Robin talked. I totally smiled the biggest, goofiest smile ever while I was reading this. It was too cute <3

The imagery of this piece is absolutely gorgeous. How you made the robin to turn into a person, with its own voice and personality, was simply genius.

The plot is something I've never read before. The words, descriptions, dialogue, and narration flow so nicely together.

I also liked how you ended it. Very straightforward, to the point, no conflict, aside from the one that the narrator had against the robin.

Also, the dialogue was brilliant; we got a glimpse of the narrator's personality, and he/she (?) came off as being a bit envious about his/her garden, and quite a rude person, too.

You have a very unique way of writing. I didn't even notice a grammatical flaw. It all was incredibly well written.

Drabble for Drabble:

The summary really caught my attention- I really love when a story can be summed up in just one sentence and this one left me guessing. The story itself was sweet. I like the Robin's dialogue, it seemed very wise and considerate.

I think some sentences were a bit awkwardly worded. Like here: As he picked and picked at the ground there was a small hole forming, when finally he found what he was looking for.

^ I think it'd read better as As he picked and picked at the ground a small hole formed, and he finally found what he was looking for.

Also, your dialogue should have a comma before the closing quotation mark because they both have tags after them. “I’ve been watching you.” I said. >>> “I’ve been watching you,” I said.

It's a nicely written story.

This was indeed a bit strange, but in all the right ways. The description was lovely and when the robin talked, it just sealed the deal for me. I loved it, wonderful job. :)

So simply, yet amazing.
The description probably could not have been better.
And the Robin talked!
Strange, but all the better.
Unique.
Lovely (: