Liars - Comments

This was a bit morbid but absolutely amazing nonetheless. I enjoyed how you described things and the story line was just so unique. I honestly didn't expect the ending.

But it was really, really lovely and you are a fantastic writer. :)

I'm speechless. This is hauntingly beautiful. I mean, I just got chills.

My goodness. Would you mind if I listed this in the favorite stories section of my profile?

Oh wow!!! I was a little skeptical to start off with because the first chapter didn't quite draw me in like I think it could've had the potential to. The second chapter is the one that I think really captivated me!! And then I was hooked. This is absolutely amazing, to put it simply. The idea and the way it's done is absolutely perfect. I love this actually, so good work!!

My only downfalls for this were that the layout, while good and clean, doesn't really fit with the story. But that's fine! :) And also there were a few spelling areas here and there which could really life this up further with a little spell checking or a beta reader :)

But otherwise, really really good work!! Good luck in the competition for So You Think You Can Write :D

I read over my comment and I realized I didn't put the chapter title before each comment about the chapter but it goes in chapter order between the spaces is a new chapter... Sorry about that ^_^;

I love the imagery in the first chapter at the start... perhaps because it's not often someone describes brown eyes in such a way. And the whole chapter was just cute and believable.

Hmm I am wondering how this original thing will come in to play here lol I do find it in good humor how your character called it out I hope it keeps that humor the whole way through.

O.O is all I can say to this chapter... And also some psychopathic thoughts lingering in the background about him lol

Well that was kind of expected but at the same time there where other possibilities buzzing a bit so it wasn't like tastelessly predicatbel. So it's still exiting and I think you have found a good balance of cliche and suspense I suppose.

She's gonna kill him I totally suspect it I think?

Yep I was right lol.

This stuff coming afterwards is pretty trippy about her fame and everything going good... It keeps in interesting and gives something to think about. I love this aspect in stories.

In the end I'm really glad I read this story it's very unique and I can't really describe it any other way. But it's good and makes you think =] I also think the chapters where titled cleverly because it always invoked a sensation from finishing one chapter and moving to the next when you read the title before hand your like hmmm I wonder... Idk I wasn't a fan of the lay out at first site but I think it does well for the story. The brightness almost sets an eerie atmosphere opposed to if you made it a bloody murder lay out it would subtract from the effect.

I love this! I had to read the whole thing before I commented :) I love how it starts off telling how they met, and how the secound and third chapter were just about their normal lives. Then when everything started happening my jaw dropped. This story is amazing and I love it. It is just so great :)

I like how it starts off so innocently, with them being so young. And it's pretty adorable too, aha. When you're a kid, anyone can be your bestfriend, like that. You've really captured that in your first chapter. The second chapter was nice too, it's got that light and happy feeling to it. The guy character seemed like someone who I'd really be liking as the story progressed, definitely thought this was going to be a camp story with laughs and friends and all that. You've surprised me, but in a good way I assure you. :D

The third chapter, I'll admit, I was freaking out a little. I thought that he'd actually gotten kidnapped and murdered or something, but there's always a twist and turn and I have no idea where this is going, which is why I like it so much. In the fourth chapter I was happy to see him again, but everything turned dark at the end. OH MY GOD THIS IS NOT COOL ANYMORE. I DO NOT LIKE HIM ANYMORE. WHY IS SHE TRUSTING HIM? I mean, I could see why, as they're best friends, but ugh not cool bro.

AND THEN SHE... oh my god. I want to think that he's threatening her, that he's crazy and she's scared but holy shit. They're like Bonnie and Clyde now. Oh my god. Things are getting so intense I can't even. Though I like the conflict within, of how she has to cut them up makes me feel so... bad for her. Really.

Now she's just cray cray. But the Bonnie thing, I think it's really starting to shine through. I mean, they're acting like nothing happened. Like they didn't kill anyone. It's completely insane but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't keep me reading. I mean, they're so... smart about how they went about everything. Except there wasn't any body? I think you should explain that, how they managed that, but otherwise I really like how this is turning out. I'm definitely subscribing because I totally want to finish their story, it's an awesome one so far.
:D

You are an amazing writer :). I loved the layout, it was pretty.
The characters were well written and he creeped me out but he was a great character.

Congratulations.
Ist place

Shannon, Shannon, Shannon.
You are a bloody brilliant writer, as I've said repeatedly in the past.
This was absolutely mind-blowing.
I couldn't stop reading, and I could have read more and more and more.
This was bloody gorgeous. You're such a wonderful writer, I can't even explain how wonderful this was.
I am thoroughly impressed. I mean, this was blown out of the water.
Wow. This was absolutely WONDERFUL. :]

Shannon, Shannon, Shannon.
You are a bloody brilliant writer, as I've said repeatedly in the past.
This was absolutely mind-blowing.
I couldn't stop reading, and I could have read more and more and more.
This was bloody gorgeous. You're such a wonderful writer, I can't even explain how wonderful this was.
I am thoroughly impressed. I mean, this was blown out of the water.
Wow. This was absolutely WONDERFUL. :]

This was amazing! I didn't expect it to turn out like that at all. It was creepy & haunting & simply amazing.

Okay, truthfully, I thought this was AMAZING
Don't worry about the chapters. It worked.
Extrememly creepy.
Enough to freak me out, but not enough to make me sick.
That was great.
I seriously loved this. You're really talented, I recon.

Good luck (:

OMG! That wsa amazing:) That was so cool and creepy..

Wow. That was amazing! Great idea! He was so creepy....but so was she at the end :0

Very very good :)

holygoats!
Missy got some talent.
Whoop. Whoop.
Love it like...
1828230432323jsdijwsofdioewd.
System overload.
I like it a lot.