She's So Much More Than Decoration - Comments

  • Elephant PJs

    Elephant PJs (365)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    28
    Location:
    New Zealand
    Okay, first off your title has a couple of little mistakes. It should be "She's So Much More Than Decoration."

    However, your writing is amazing. You have such a perfect start and I love Justin's narrative voice. He's one of the more believable male characters I've come across on Mibba.

    You do have several typos scattered throughout, but it's nothing a quick proof-read won't catch.

    Your description is awesome and I love how you've set it out with the dates. Getting all the little snapshots just ties it together perfectly.

    I started to get this really bad feeling during the road-trip, like Cael was trying to say goodbye and it was awful but the ending kinda made my heart explode.

    This was just really, really great. I thoroughly enjoyed it. You should be very proud.

    Good luck in the contest!
    February 2nd, 2014 at 12:43pm