Something's Missing - Comments

A cute story. A bit confusing. She meet the boys twice. The first time she met the gf's as well except Val. Bc she wasn't mentioned. The second time she sees them again and the gf's but it's not the first time as it's made to seem. Idk why she would feel awkward when they found out about her being his side chick when Brian was doing the same. But his being the worse since she was the one engaged.

Awwwe <3
I loved this story! I'm sad to see it end but it was beautiful!

I just finished this and i loved it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! haha. it was just such an amazing story!!!! well, now i'm off to check out your other stories! :D

~T. Strange~

my smiley faces went a bit weird on word haha sorry about that :P

Just finished reading your first three chapters, and I’d suggest going back over them and perhaps double checking them. They have a lot of grammatical errors and words in wrong places etc. just before your story gets reported. ☺

I really like the idea of this story and I wasn’t expecting it when I read the summary. I felt though that the character page could do with a once-over, I’m sure your characters have a little more depth than just one line on them. That may be just me, but it’s only an observation. ☺

I also felt that some small occurrences in this story were a little unrealistic, such as the dialogue between certain characters, in particularly McKenna. I remember being thirteen and I wasn’t nearly as bright and bubbly and well pronounced and articulate with my language, and I don’t remember my friends being like that either. Thirteen is a very awkward age, and even though she’s from a renowned family doesn’t make such a pubescent age any less difficult. Once again, that could only be me, but the way you’ve personified her makes her seem like an innocent nine or ten year old. And leading on from that, when Brian arrives at her home/shelter and she lets him in to sit on her couch. This made me wonder whether a young girl in her early twenties would let a strange man into her home, and leave him there while she went upstairs to finish getting ready. I found this not only unrealistic but incredibly naïve of Seraphina! What I’m getting at, is she doesn’t know Brian, she’s never met him before, and she hasn’t made a link between the Haner’s she’d given her Pima to, and even though he’s claimed he’s the owner of Pinkly – there is no way I’d let a man who is considerably bigger than me and could overpower me with so much ease into my house, and furthermore she doesn’t recognize him as being the guitarist of Avenged Sevenfold. But yet again, that’s probably just me and the way I’ve been bought up. I don’t know, I read it and I thought it was a little off. Anyway, a little constructive criticism never hurt anyone.

I really love the idea of this story though, and I love animals too. I can’t wait to see what happens between Brian and Seraphina, as it’s obvious they’re going to get together – Seraphina seems quite confused about her marriage to her high school sweetheart and Brian is just as confused about his relationship with Michelle. This undercurrent story line has been done so many times I’m interested to see what you come up with. ☺

I love this story! It is so hard to stop reading it. Please keep writing stories because I love them all. You inspire me alot so thank you.

I spent the last three ish days reading this off and on. I have to say that at times I teared up, laughed and I think I fell in love with Brian again. This was a really great story. I don't know why the hell I hadn't stalked your page in so long. Great job, sweetness.

Sad it's over but I'm glad it was such a good story :)

Loved the last two updates....great ending! <3

i'm so sad this is over! but this is one of my many favorites!!!

This was such a beautiful story! I absolutely love how you write with a realistic plot & believable (and lovable) characters. Looking forward to more of your work :)
<3

I can´t believe I didn´t see this story before you finished it!! I love all your stories and if you would publish any of them I would buy them all !! :)
Keep making those fantastic stories ;)

Awww!!
This story was sooooo awesome!!
I love all of your stories!!

I love this story so much! I'm like addicted to it!!!! AHHHHH! Update soon PLEASE!!!!!!

Great Story!!!!
Enjoyed very much reading it!!!!

Awwwwwwwwwwwww, this was such a good ending. :) And despite other people wanting a sequel, I think you should leave it where it is. Some stories are meant to be that way.
Congratulations on writing such a good story. <3

amazing great ending to amazing great story. sad to it end but i loved it all the way.

C: I loved the story, I think you should make a sequel. SEQUEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! please. I'm glad Brian got his happy ending after all ^_^

I was so sad when it ended :'( x
Its was amazing though! <3
Pwease make a sequel? : )

adorable ending <3
I'm glad you didn't do an epilogue... :)
if they did get married it would seem unrealistic and for me it would ruin the ending...
I'm so sad that it's over... :'(
it was a very nice story <3 :D
it was very well written too :D