I like the plot so far but I agree with you. You need to slow it down a bit and give some more details. Such as when you describe James as a Hippie you could go into more detail on him, apperance, life story, if he knew his biological parents and that gave him his calm demeanor. People love to read background on characters and most especially in tragdedies because it makes them care about the character more. Another example was if you had written an aside for Margrette telling us about her reasons for trying to rob them it would make people a lot more emotional about the fact that she had been murdered. Hope this helps. And I added more story so check it out! lol
July 18th, 2010 at 07:28pm
