Wishing - Comments

Because at that moment, I needed a wish more than anything.
I really liked how you ended this. :)

Like everyone before me, I loved this.<3
Your detail is awesome, I love the song, and I like how much emotion this held. :)

Fabulous Job. C:

Wow. I really liked how you have written this. It's really good.

For me, I read this like a poem, though it was a story and had all the qualities of one. It held so much emotion and I liked the whole concept of this.

Gabby said I get to help Judge!

Mkay, First I love the layout.
I found a mistake or two.
I Felt that you could have worded somethings diffrently.
What I really like is that I could relate to this, and that you could feel her emotions through the words.

Out of all of this these were my favorite lines.

because I thought if I wished every night, he would come back home.

If only that airplane had been the shooting star my eyes had been searching for. Because at that moment, I needed a wish more than anything.

You did a great job with this.

:}

First off, the layout is super pretty as well as the banner. :)

It was a tradition that on the first clear night of summer vacation for us to stay up all night, just searching for shooting stars.
Try using different wording instead of repeating night again.

that all children make; I wished for toys and games
I feel like that should be a regular colan.

she hadn’t been in pain. That she hadn’t suffered.
Comma or maybe a dash?

Other than that, it's a wonderful oneshot. The angsty tone is apparent and yours words really emphasize on the raw pain she's feeling. I like how it isn't a relationship, like others would probably do it, but a tie with her father.

You've got a great vocabulary and the words flow well, overall a pretty beautiful oneshot. Great job. :)