The Drug Diaries - Comments

As soon as I saw the title come up in Comment swap i judge the story. I'm not someone who reads drug/sex stories. However i judge this story to harshly before actually reading it. I love the flow of your writing it's steady it so easy to read the words seem to fly off the page. The depth of emotion is really amazing. I feel as if you can really connect to this story :) thank you for sharing it with us

The entire time I read this I felt as though you were very in touch with her emotions. There was no confusion and the story flowed together very well. This story doesn't seem like something I'd read often yet it still caught my attention. I am somewhat captivated by it all. Also as others have said your layout works well with it all. Now you have me hooked and I must continue to read.

I think the layout of the story is perfect, I think the title is perfect, I also think the summary is just perfection. I couldn't wait to tear this story apart(in the good way of course.)

I think that I like the fact that you actually made it a point to say that you weren't trying to galmourize drug use or anything like that. I think that it's important and I think it was wise to mention that.

Okay so you know how I said everything was perfection before? Well the first paragaph of chapter was also perfection. I was completely and utterly captiviated into it.

I think the power that this story posesses is great. I'm just on chapter 1, but I honestly can't wait to read more of it!

Omfg, SO excited for the last chapter. Like, I'm peeing. This story is sheer pefection. Good work!

For the comment swap - sorry, this is quite late.
The first thing I feel is that this isn't the sort of story I'd normally read, or be interested in, but this isn't a reflection on you or the story, just my personal taste.
I think you way of phrasing things can be a little awkward sometimes, as pretty-eyed sarcasm has said, but I didn't notice anything outside of what she pointed out.

I don't feel like the way Nathan pushes Christina into drug use is very realistic, either, but that could be because I've never been in a situation where I'm feeling disconnected - I like that you include that in Christina's narrative as it shows us her impetus. I don't think the end of 'Mary Jane' is realistic though - 'and that made me dangerously curious'. The use of 'dangerously' makes it feel like a reflection on event that has long since passed, once she is well into her decent into drug use (or possibly even the reflection of someone who has come out on the other side.) It doesn't feel like something someone would write in a diary entry that is, presumably, written fairly soon after the actual event.

I love, love, LOVE your descriptions, especially of the forest in 'Shrooms'. Although Christina says she 'fell in love with trees that night', the description is quite scary. I like that, because even when sober it's easy to take the same situations in a different way - when tripping, things can become completely different for each person. Your description allowed me to feel for myself instead of just shoving what Christina sees and feels down my throat. You've managed to 'show' instead of 'tell', and I'm insanely jealous!!
As a side note, you've made a mistake in that sentence - Christina says she 'feel' in love with trees- that should be 'fell'.
You've written something really interesting, and you've written it really well. Keep up the good work :)

"After this night Diary, I went rouge" Rogue.
"If dating Nathan taught me anything, I learned to never expect him on time." A little awkward. I would probably say, 'it taught me to never expect him on time.'
"I know that as long as I live, that purple will now always be my favorite color." Should probably be either 'as long as I live, that purple will be my favorite color.' or ' that purple will always be my favorite color.' Using both doesn't quite make sense.
"My family was falling apart, and my boyfriend had endless opportunities to fulfill himself outside of my." Outside of me?

Nathan is perfect. He isn't abusive (yet), but he is pushing her to do things she doesn't want to in very reasonable-sounding ways. His arguments make perfect sense.
I am thrilled to have gotten this story in the comment swap. It's brilliant. I can't wait to see the character evolutions. I have both recommended and subscribed. I was worried as I started reading that it would be about how pot is a gateway drug, but you seem to have perfect reasons and foreshadowing for Christina to become a really messed up individual. It's a fantastic story. The few grammar issues above are really the only issues I had with it. One note I would like to make, however, is that it doesn't sound like most diaries. It's written more poetically than any diary I've ever read. It isn't a bad thing, but you might want to devise some small way to explain it.

I realize I'm a tad late to the party with this work, but I'm glad I could catch it from the beginning, even if it is the second copy. I love how clear everything is with your writing style. I read a sentence, and I comprehend it all, I'm aware of where we're at, what's happening both with the characters and around them. It's great. You have a delightful repertoire in the way of vocabulary, by the way. Very nice to catch words to balance out the unfortunate situation with colourful language. I can see you've got a talent for writing, and I really like what I've read. Keep going!

Oh...wow, this story. I can honestly say that this story put me in awe really.
Whilst reading this, I couldn't stop. I wanted to keep going. I could feel her emotions as she plummeted deeper and further down in her life. Everything was so beautifully detailed. This story is amazing.

If you had any mistakes, I didn't catch them. I felt there should have been commas in some specific places, but of course, I'm no good with editing so I might be completely wrong. I tend to overuse commas.
I had a problem with reading the white font because my eyesight got strained and it hurt to continue reading it. I'm not saying you have to change it because I see someone else had a problem with it, too.

But all in all, this story is amazing. I hope there is more to come in the future.

Are you going to go back and talk about the transition between the abortion and doing meth? Because I'm hoping you do. Look at all these comments, wowzers!

I really like this story.
Is Nathan dead then? How did he die?
From the first chapter to now... you can feel what she's feeling, and the further down she plummets, you can tell by her drug choice how far she's gone. I mean...from pot to Crystal? That's got to fuck a person up...
I like how you portrayed each drug experience, it was very vivid and detailed.

I just read chapter five as you requested, and I must say that I loved what I read.

I keep a diary, but I never use 2nd person. It's a new twist on things, and I quite like that. I might start writing in my diary using 2nd person.

Sorry, got off track. I've never seen a story like this on Mibba, and I like that fact that this is so unique. You really delve into the personal aspect from what I had read. Not many people do that, whether it be them holding back, or what.

You also used great detail. It just blows my mind how much detail you use in just one chapter.

The layout... Geez, I try not to pay much attention to layouts nowadays, but this one... It's just superb. Really great. It really fits, as well.

From what I read, I didn't see very many spelling/grammar mistakes. Of course, I'm not good at correcting that kind of stuff.

I'm going to start from chapter one now.

Great, great job!

Hello, this is for comment swap.

I must say, your summary is very intriguing and catches the attention of the reader. The only thing I would suggest is for you to go back and proofread for you are missing a couple comma's here and there and it can easily be fixed.

The first chapter was beutiful. I feel as if you describe everything with such care that almost any reader can picture the enviroment, setting, and most importantly, the characters.

I felt like I could almost be as frustrated as Crissy was in the second chapter. The fact that she was high of the Shrooms (thank lord for your authors note or I would have been lost) and your detailing combined together made it so interesting. I am sitting in the hallway of my school hawking my iPod and reading your story. By far the most amazing thing I have read yet.

I do not want to write you a novel so I shall stop here. All I suggest s you proofread some chapters because the only problem you have is with commas and such.

To begin with, and to be very cliche I'll throw a sentence in about the layout. It was lovely, very I wouldn't say casual, but very mellow. That was the first word that came to mind when I saw it. Of course the picture was very fitting and and well displayed.

I did have a slight issue with the font colour and it is probably just me, because I've always had trouble with white fonts or anything bright. I don't think you should change because the majority seem to be fine with it; but because of my funky eyesight I had a problem.

I read chapters four and five and was very interested. Her character is nicely developed and the story structure has a very even flow. It transittions bery well, despite the period of time in which you wrote them both being so far apart.

Perhaps this is ignorance from not reading the earlier chapters, but she drove herself home in one chapter, yet sleeps on the street in the chapter after it? To me that doesn't play well because if she's homeless, to me the last thing she'd have is a car, and if she's pawning her watch off then she's low on money on money, but still seems to own a vehicle. PM me with this mystery :O

Otherwise I thought this was well written and a fun idea. It'll be interesting to see how it ends from here, what'll happen to her? Will she be reformed? Take the same road as Nathan? So on so forth,etc,.

I'm only reading the last chapter just to let you know.

when you feel shards of glass stabbing through your flesh and melting into a painful poison infiltrating your blood steam
I think you meant to put stream instead of steam.
In that same paragraph, you forgot to double space the paragraph below it.
I believe that's all the editing you need to do. (:

Now, on to the real stuff.
I absolutely adore your layout. The banner is flawless & reminds me of a polaroid. The colors match beautifully & I love the effect you used on the border, making it fade out like that. I'm really curious as to how you managed that.
The depth of your description is fantastic. You have the ability to describe a scene so well, a movie begins playing in the reader's head, and yet you don't overdo it at all. Magnificent.

All I needed was Nathan. But I forgot, Diary, that you cannot wake the dead.
These two last lines killed me. Killed me. I was getting all hyped up that she was going to return to this Nathan guy, only to find out that he's dead? It was executed wonderfully, but it just crushed me, which is what I imagine the character must be feeling.

Overall, I enjoyed this story very much & may end up returning to the beginning to finish. (:

I want to start out with your layout. I like it a lot. The colors aren't too bright or too dim, I think they match perfectly. I like the fact that the banner matches. Although it's a bit dark to me, I see that it fits well with what the layout is going for.

Next is the summary. I liked this a lot because it doesn't play around, and leave questions for the reader to try and answer as they read through. To me, it is very right to the point, and explains the jist of the story extremely well.

I saw in your journal that you wanted to swap for chapter five, so that's all I read, but I wanted to point out that not having read this story before, I find it easy for myself to jump right in and understand the story and the main character. You described everything so well, that I found I didn't have to skim over the other chapters to understand what was going on. I felt like I already knew some things that were most likely explained in earlier chapters.

I felt like the story flows very well, and you have an amazing use of vocabulary.

I did find two things I don't believe are right though. In the fourth paragraph, you said:
A coffee-mug shaped neon still hung crookedly over the door, though it hadn’t been lit in years.
I think you maybe forgot to put the word "sign" in after the word "neon" in that sentence, but I'm not entirely sure.

Also, in the fifth paragraph, you said:
I thought about men, who left their girlfriends over a café late like it was no different than discussing the weather, ...
I think you meant to say latte here, instead of late.

I think the chapter is very powerful, so I assume the other chapters are as well. I loved the final sentence of this chapter very much. It was short, but very... I don't want to say powerful again, but I dunno how else to describe it. It was very just... BANG. I loved it. I also like that you told the side effects of doing crystal meth, and that in your summary you said how you are not glamorizing drug usage. I was very glad to see you mentioning things like that, because I don't believe other authors here on Mibba might do that.

Very well written indeed ^-^

This is really really cool to read.
I love the detail and the level of description in every sentence.
Amazing job :)

I find this incredibly interesting. I'm one of those goody girls who refuses to drink, smoke or do any type of drugs but I have always found the effects of drugs interesting which is why I've enjoyed what I read so much. It sucks that she so easily gave into pressure simply because of some guy she was dating and just because of that it could've potentially ruined her whole life[in my opinion once you start taking heavier drugs and even pot-smokers I think that's just awful.] Awesome story so far.

I passed the time throwing tiny pebbles into the darkness hovering over my yard, listening to thud each one created as it kissed the ground. the thud?

That was kind of sad

this is the most raw story on this site

GAAAAH! this story is amazing. and when i saw the layout, i just frothed.