Nine months - Comments

When I read this You have no idea baby, what it feels like to be a no body. Jen made me feel like someone, when she did my hair, lent me her black mini and killer heels... it reminded me of myself, sort of. For special events like a school dance, my sister does my makeup and whatnot. It does make me feel like someone; I can relate to Amy on that. Oh my. This was so sad! I had tears in my eyes when I finished reading this! I loved how it went from being unsure of the baby, not wanting the baby, and then... holding the baby, loving the baby, and not wanting the baby to go. The people in whom Amy was giving her child seemed kind of lovely but at the same time that person, the 'soon-to-be-mom' was a jerk. Especially at the end when she glarred at Amy and just left the room with the baby. It's sad how Amy will never be able to have a child again :(

Alright there were some lovely parts to this, but I want to start out with the critiques so I can end with the good stuff. First off, it bothered me that the chapter title was positioned just under the eye. It's probably a personal thing but it just seemed wrong. MOVING ON! So the writing was a bit choppy at times, but I think that is in part because it's a diary. It's what a person would be writing not some story so you can think of it as character development. Some grammar/spelling issues I noticed that I want to bring up.

that I just had the stupidest thing a sixteen year old could. Did you mean did the stupidest thing.

I wanted to slap the guy who’d me fall for him. Missing the word made in there.

Now onto the higher notes. Your character pissed me off. That's not a bad thing though. I think it made her more real. Especially with the constant annoyance of carrying a child though God it made me want to strangle her. (My mom was 16 when she concieved me and 17 when I was born). She's very honest though. And it reads like a diary and by the end you feel for her though I didn't want to. And it was nice to get to see this glimpse of the world from her light.

this story make me sad but at the same time I agree with the narrator sometimes having a baby at young age is difficult and is better to give up, wish there was more through. love it

How could you have done this to me? I thought we had an agreement! You weren’t due for another two weeks so I had no idea why you were causing me so much pain already.
I know I probably shouldn’t laugh, but those lines made me giggle :)

When you were born, the umbilical cord wrapped itself around your neck, strangling you.
My cord was wrapped around me twice.

I really liked the idea and the format of this story. Putting it in a journal form like that is very clever and I think it got the point across more fluently.

I really liked this, and I agree with everyone above—it’s really sad.

I am actually a little confused. Did the baby die at the end? or did it live? Cause it said at the the other mother walked from the room with the baby but in the next paragraph it said the umbilical cord was wrapped around it's neck?

It was sad, but I liked it. :D

I have been looking for a long time for something really good to read and well this was just so much better than good.

There were a few grammar errors that can easily be fixed. But the story as a whole was just so emotional. I love how it transitions from her hating the baby and then to loving it in the end. Month six and nine were my favorites. Especially when she refers to the baby as her pal, I smiled at that part.

And then I teared up in the end when she had to let the baby go. It definetly had the right emotion to truly make me feel for the young girl. I absolutely loved it and am so happy that you recommended this story.

Seriously emotional, this is. Made me wanna cry (which is hard to do.)

I loved how you wrote this, too. It made it really interesting.

Awweeeee so saaad D': It was really good though, I enjoyed the mood you set for it. Very very good C:

Agree with born to quit. I cried too, and im not a crier. Man that was amazing, you should make a long story about it, like she just graduated college or something and went looking for her. or not lol i like the thought of getting to read more of ur amazing story but whateva. lmao

I'm not gonna lie, I cried at the end of this.
<3 It was amazing ha, really.