Half a World Away - Comments

So, firstly, I want to thank you so much for entering my contest. I creeped around your profile once I saw you entered and stumbled upon the entry.

I can honestly say that I loved it. Your grammar and spelling are superb, something that's not really common on mibba these days. Your attention to detail is amazing, and I felt like I was huddled in the corner of the room, watching the exchange going on.

Just as you thanked me for coming up with this contest idea, I'd very much like to thank you. See, I really love writing, and all of my contest ideas are out there to help people get better. This one was about taking a cliche line and making it not so cliche. Hell, I have another one about expressing emotions since some people aren't good at that. But your entry, God, it's exactly why I approached Nicole with the idea for the contest. I wanted to not only help writer's get better, but to help them realize that everyone can write well if they look at it, and damn, did you prove that. So, thank you to you as well.

Really amazing entry. <3

Well i forgot to put details right after everything and before instead
mind works faster then i can type
sorry : )

well dang!
This was fantastic
i loved how you put everthing instead of bluntly statiing it like most writes do. You've found ways to say things like the simple action of the heart beating and breathing!
I hope you win because this was really off the hook
ha i wanted to use off the hook really bad!
: )