The Second Circle - Comments

Ben Gibbard + Chris Walla = Sexiest man ever.

Oh, wow. I am SO very glad you linked me this in the Story Finders thread—it’s amazing! I adore Caitlin as a character; she’s very put-together and very conscious of herself. I’ve been seeing a lot of frilly, sort of helpless female characters and I’m glad Caitlin isn’t like that. She’s very intelligent and, despite her heartbreaks, she’s sure of herself and capable and just all around awesome.

Ben (Mr. Walla?) too is a wonderful character. Though of course I bitterly hate him for leaving Caitlin (tehe) he’s a wonderful character. He seems very warm and gentle and sweet, but he also has a good grasp on reality and what can and can’t be expected of his relationship with Caitlin. You’ve done very well with the characterization of both of them, and I applaud that.

You also created a very accurate high school as a setting, which isn’t something I actually see very often. I mean, most people are like “it’s high school, I go there, I can write it” but they don’t realize that writing it realistically is so much more than that. You seem to realize that, I and you’ve done a fantastic job with it.

And finally I want to say your tone when you write is wonderful. It reads as happy, but sort of haunting (kind of like Caitlin, eh, with her fascination with the every-morbid “Inferno”) and it’s just fantastic all around.

Long story short: I really, really like this story.

Hey deary. Before I go on, I just have to say that I very much liked this. Like, really.

The way you drew the timeline out, making it more realistic, was done well. Your description was brilliant also. The thing that probably got me the most was the way you showed how much the pair truly cared for each other. Their relationship wasn’t cliché and overdone. You made me feel that what they had was truly pure. That they really did love each other.

Their were one or two mistakes and a few words that didn’t necessarily need to be there, but who doesn’t have that in their stories?

Overall though, pet, a very nice piece.

First off, I want to say I kinda really this and love you and all, but REALLY? You HAD to use MY name?!?! For real. TT^TT
Well, I guess it makes up for all the times I've written about you and made you insane... But you have to make me the girl who goes after her teacher?! Some best friend you are... xD

i think this is really great. there's a few typos, though. but it really leaves me wanting more of the details. -- love it.
xx