k. i dont like speelcheck for some reason idrk y tho *shrugs*. and i'll try using that spacing thing. i'm just not used to writing stories.
July 13th, 2010 at 03:33am
It would be easier to read if you would start a new line every time someone talked.
For example:
" 'Hey babe' a deep voice said from behind me.
I twisted in my seat to see 2 men in the backseat. Everyone was oddly familiar. I swear I've seen this car before.
"First of all, the name's Katie. Second, Do I know you? and Third of all, WHY THE FUCK AM I HERE?" I growled."
Tha would make it look less...smushed together. Also, you need to put ending marks at the end of a sentence, especially if someone is talking.
You need to use spell check too. You aren't spelling every single thing wrong, but there are several spelling errors in the story.
Oh and one last thing, you need to stop using so many periods. I understand you want people to pause, but you don't need so many.
I can see a good story in this, you just need to work on it.