Unfamiliar Eyes - Comments

@ humanwreckage69
Oh, wow, you found my stories after all this time! As you might have guessed I don't log in often anymore but thank you so much for your kind words!

well that was kind hot and devastating and heartbreaking mikey was awful and gee was so broken i loved it

Wow, this was intense, I loved it xD

-dies-

Why, why, WHY do I discover this kind of things months after they've been posted, huh? You are one of those authors that make me want to write more but at the same time make me ashamed of how shitty my writing is. All honesty.

I haven't read much waycest, but I do love sick and twisted things. So I thought: "Hey! Why not read this? The description sounds interesting..." And I did. And I almost fainted. Actually, I died.

I love the twist you gave it all.
Eyes that were much like his own.
^ But, in fact, they weren't much like his own. They were possessed by a stranger. The similarity was just superficial; deep inside there was no Michael Way like the one Gerard knew. There was a stranger. God only knows how much I love you for writing like that.

And it's so devastating, and so wicked, and so wrong, but Gerard wants his little brother; yet he doesn’t want him when he's possessed by someone he doesn't know. Because then it's not his little brother, and he tries to get away, but he can't.

Why had he felt so empty all of a sudden? At the absence of his brother. His brother.
^ And that's just too powerful for words. I mean, Gerard wants it, but he doesn't. He doesn't want it from this stranger. He doesn't want it while staring into unfamiliar eyes. He couldn't avoid it, though.

“But to answer your question; you’re just a fuck.”
^ That… That's like running straight into a wall. Tons of bricks falling on top of you and breaking your bones with a crunching sound. Phenomenal. And, I mean, that's one of the things that hurt the most. Because Gerard wanted to make love to his little brother. Make love, not fuck.

This was really well-written. I loved it.



“I never wanted to be raped by a stranger.”

I totally did not adore this. Nu-uh.
I totally did not fall off my chair because I sat on the edge too much. Nu-uh.

And I totally did not wish I was as good at commenting as everyone above.

Seriously. THIS.WAS.FUCKING.MORE.THAN.BRILLIANT.

OH MY FUCKING GERARD WAY! :cheese:
It was amazing! No, wait, amazing wouldn't cut it, so insert any adjective that would be amazing times one thousand and one amazings!
Seriously. Wow. I have read like two Waycest or three at max but this was... wow.

Descriptions were amazing, not too much exposure but not too bland. The right amount for me evidently.
I haven't read any brotherly love scenes [as I'm in the process of writing one myself and it's sexless] but my god it was fantastic!

Heart-wrenching, unusual and emotive is the words that would be fair to apply on this.
Emotions ruled this piece as it went up and down and twisted and wrenched into deeper places that we could ever imagine; it resembled in the dialogue, the style of writing itself, everything.

Curled toes.
“Oh, God!”

Pulling strains, gritted teeth. Kicking and crying.
“Don’t do this to me! Don’t do this!”

Mouth open. Cheeks flushed.
“If only I could scream. If only I could scream loud enough for my little brother to hear me. If only I could scream at this stranger. Why can’t I?”
Those were some of the parts that made me go 'Oh my God, oh my God, oh my GOD!', I adore your style and how you play with words. Seriously.

Suddenly it all ceased and Gerard wasn’t prepared that
That means I have to extra hard on my own Waycest! :cheese: :tehe:
I have decided to love your writing for about a while now but I think I fell in love with it now!
Again, amazingX 1000 job.
<3

wow. You really did a great job with this! Sorry I hadn't commented sooner. I really love how you pulled it all together. The use of the italics was fantastic! they really gave it that extra scariness. Because over all this was scary. Like an intense scary. One of those things that you wanna look away but you wanna read! You really captured the emotion well. It was sick and twisted and just fantastic! I loved the formatting too. Like this part-
Quick panting.
“Did I really struggle that much?”

Curled toes.
“Oh, God!”

Pulling strains, gritted teeth. Kicking and crying.
“Don’t do this to me! Don’t do this!”

Oh gosh the way you laid that out with the spacing and the italics really made an impact, on me at least. And the last line especially. wow. Just totally flipped the whole piece and Id be surprised if who ever read it didnt find their jaw hanging open.
great work!

Not something I should be reading for Christmas, but when Sara recced it and saw it was of the Ways I couldn't resist.

The sinister atmosphere occured to me the moment I saw the layout and read the first few words. My heart was thumping wildly in my chest.

During the story I was silently gasping and screaming 'fuck fuck fuck' but it was too enthralling to look away from.

Everything - from the scene to their characters to the emotions - was so distorted, yet so very believable. The smut part wasn't just smut, because I saw examples of great writing and actually developed the story.

Their conversation was just... done so right. Any words added or subtracted would have been a masscare, but this was... god.

The line where Gee says 'if you didn't love me then why, and if you did how could you?' It was an amazing sentence, certainly. Accusation and anger and desperation in so little words, and the fact that Mikey was able to answer it gave way to more of his dark nature. He scared me here. Like it wasmore than the lust, but of so many hidden, unspoken things too.

Too many words to describe the genius of this story. The last line... Oh man.

My desktop pic was of Gee smilig innocently and I felt so dirty and guilty and... crap.

Excellent work!!!

Petal that was magic, I agree with the people above you've managed to capture the twisted-ness of it perfectly.

Merry Christmas!

^Agreed.

:cheese:

I NEVER like Waycest. Nevernevernever.
But this was just...
-dies-
Freakin' beautiful.
I loved the theme of eyes throughout the story, how they were so similar to his, yet so unfamiliar.
It was beautifully written.
I loved how Gerard was so submissive and Mikey so dominant - it was so refreshing compared to the usual Waycests where Gee seduces his brother.

''his quilt had been pulled of, allowing cool air to ghost over his skin...''

I adored how you used ghost as a verb. It was so aptly beautiful.

It was just such an unusual slash story, because, even though the story basically consists of a sex scene, it wasn't just pure smut. I loved how you gave us the entire pyschology behind Mikey's lust for his brother - he wasn't in love, he had just watched Gerard on stage and simply wanted him in the same way that all his fans did.

It would have ruined things if you had a happy little ending where they would fall into each other's arms and say, ''Oooh, I love you!''
Yours was perfect, though, especially the closing line, which actually makes you think for a second and resurrects the theme of Mikey's unfamiliar eyes.

Lovely.

Oh, and I forgot to say - thank you for the great review on P&P! It was very helpful, and I took some of your advice, too! :]

Oh, my GOD. :cheese:

I adored that. ADORED.
I'm not the one for Waycest, but this was so beautifully written
that I stuck by it to the end. I love exploring the darker sides
of the human psyche and love reading stories with such thematics.

Yours was just... Man, it left me dumbstruck.
The sinister feel stretched throughout the entire piece.
Your choice of words and especially adjectives is astounding
and it really did wonders for the atmosphere here.

Mikey's character was so well established, and
so twisted! The coldness, the crudeness, just wow.
The whole concept of them being alike, but different was
pulled off amazingly. The repetition of the eyes motive, now that
was a nice touch.

Also, the sentence where Mikey pronounces him uninhibited
in the ending, it helped characterize both of the brothers and
explain his longing.

This was just so complex and I can't do anything but
applaud you on this story.

The finishing line was the line that completely sealed the story.
Everything after it would be too much.

Just amazing.