This is soo awesome!!!! Go Raporta!!!!
December 31st, 2007 at 07:04am
-is speechless-
...Yeah, not too speechless to review this AWESOMENESS. I could be more poetic about it...but... naw, awesomeness is good enough when I'm so excited.
REVIEW!
...they came to give him "Happy Birthday's" and the hugs more like him helping to keep them upright.
There's a strong level of reality in that line. It's... it's one of my favorite lines too because it's so real, you know? He's the birthday boy, he's drunk, and no one wants to accidentally step on him if he passes out. What better to keep up your intoxicated friend that giving him a nice hug? They're kind of protecting Ryan's feelings, too, even if he's too drunk to notice.
They'd already done the cake, the presents, and his girlfriend had already jumped out of the large box, which she somehow figured to be a present.
Already, the path is set that Keltie is just a beard, and it's done with a streak of your usual brilliant humor. At the same time, you pave the road for some.. action to take place later. I wonder who's going to be wearing the skimpy outfit...
... but he still could pout about it if he wanted too.
It's my party, and I cry if I want to. I really like how this is kind of an insight to Ryan's character. All of this shebang is planned for HIM, and yet he doesn't have his closest buddies around, so he'll fucking pout if he wants to and a GIRL shoving her TITS in his face is not going to make him happy. [But a boy and a crotch however...]
"Ryland isn't doing shit, is he?" Ryan asked, smiling at the way Gabe's face seemed to come alive as they talked.
...
This line is so sweet and it just makes you go "Awww" and yet, it's not corny. There's a very thin line between sweet and corny [not that there's anything wrong with corny. >.>] and this stays on sweet. It's so nice how Gabe is so content to just talk with Ryan, and Ryan is so happy to have Gabe talking to him. It makes my heart burn...They'd figured out early that people would say shit no matter what they did, so they learned quickly not to care.
:file:
Ryan needed someone to make everything okay. At least for a little bit.
This line is... sad. It implies of all the worries and trouble that Ryan actually has, but keeps hidden as to not worry his band members, friends or maybe even fans. He keeps all of this bottled up, and looks for a release, a few minutes of bliss and finds refuge in the warmth of another person. This changes the tone of the entire story at this point. Before it was fun and sexy, now it's kind of like "What's going on with Ryan...?" and sexy...and fun. 'Cause nothing is ever not fun with Gabe Saporta.
"Hi Gabe." Keltie giggled from the left side of Ryan, startling him out of his thoughts.
:grr: Stupid vagina. Making Ryan stop staring at Gabe and choke on his drink.
"You don't sip it. You gotta-" Gabe picked up the bottle that had just been in Ryan's hand and gulped it down. "-chug it back."
efyuwhu Am I the only one who found that incredibly sexy?
I mean, he teases Ryan, takes a bottle, which we all learned from Tila Tequila, can be deep throated, and chugs back what the bottle releases from its tip. o_o SEX.“Y-yes.” Suddenly Ryan felt like he was going through puberty all over again. He didn’t feel like the mature and successful 21 year old man anymore, he felt like the fidgety, hormonal teenager. Back to the stuttering, cracking voice and sweaty palms just because of physical contact with someone he liked.
:shock: Perfect. PERFECT. These lines were my absolute favorite because of the fucking... oh man, the reality and the sexual tension all shoved into a few lines. Ryan's not really a full-grown man hoping to get banged, he's a 15 year old boy looking for something to soothe his hormones. Perfect...
“S-sure.” Ryan’s stomach was in full butterfly mode now, and he couldn’t help but stutter. Only Gabe made him feel this way; never Keltie, never Brendon. None of his past lovers had made his stomach do so many flips, or make his tongue tie into a knot.
And here it is. The line I was hoping for. This reverses the sad effect that had been driven into the story. Ryan's not just looking for sex anymore. It may be near of his list, but Gabe's making him feel.. different. It's more than the sex appeal now... it's deeper.
“Thank God Pete’s a whore.” The singer muttered, throwing Ryan down onto the expensive looking couch.
:lmfao :lmfao :lmfao I'm laughing SO hard right now... oh, man. Pete's so much of a fucking slut that he keeps a sex couch in the storage room. Oh, man... oh man... :lmfao
Ryan raised an eyebrow, “You always carry lube in your pocket?”
“Only on special occasions, babe.” Gabe purred, making Ryan blush.
These rockstars are whores! :lmfao But they're nice whores... And it's not like they're promiscuous whores. There's an oxymoron for you. No, what I mean to say is that Gabe was so sure that he;d be fucking tonight, that he remembered to shove some lube into his pocket. I can just imagine that... Ryland is yelling for him to hurry the fuck up and Gabe is lagging behind "Wait up, man! I have to find my fucking lube!"
shfsehu The sex. HOT. Ohmigod, it was fucking hot. -in incoherent- That's quality porn right there.
The ending... -melts- That was so sweet.
There weren't that many grammar errors. In fact, I think I only saw a few. But that doesn't matter... your writing makes up for all of that anyway. :file:
:arms: Thank you so much for writing this for me. It means the world to me that you took the the time to write this. It was... it was perfect. It was the best gift I have ever received. ehfhaefh THANK YOU!
:arms:
