The UnObvious - Comments

thkz... but that was since july... and i corrected it so

and what is An-Obvious? -- Unobvious = better title if that is what you mean

i agree with theshadowskill
friendly tip: you need to write more clear description. don't jump from one subject to the next too fast. or else the reader gets lost. and use better vocabuary, ex: instead of <Eric didn’t say anything he just pulled his chair closer to mine. I looked back at Taylor.>
you can do <Eric stopped talking as I watched him (or noticed he) pull his chair closer, sitting near me (or next to me). I shift my eyes toward Tyler, panicking...>
You get? i'm not saying to change the writing style! but just make it more appealing to the eyes
:P

Chapter 01
I like this, but i was a bit comfused. In the prelude, Cass is talking about how Eric is fit, and how she basically has the biggest crush on him and suddenly in Chap One she hates the poor guys guts? LOL, I love the gest of the story, it is very promising!

Corrections
"Doesn't mean he can get me attention." It should be my attention.
then there are the ones who aren't know." I didn't know how to fix this one. Maybe you should take a look at it?
What you like me to call you." What you would...
"I didn't know it was-"A problem?.." You should close Eric's quote and put Cass' quote on another line. That was a bit confusing.
"Why their late." They're
"He noticed and smile. I smiled back." You should turn smile into smiled.

Prelude
This was very very good! I give you mega dittos because although Tyler is gay, you didn't make him emo. I dont know what is wrong with these writers around here but when they write a story about gay people, the person has to have black hair, he wears manscara, complete with eyeliner. You are officially a cut above the rest!

Corrections
"Their all there too." I believe the word should be They're.
So how she has time to hook up." That how should be now.
There like amazing!" Once again it should be They're
Mom wasn't surprise and she mad its extreamly..." I'm sure mom wasn't surprised and she made it extreamly clear.

Also I noticed that when Tyler is at Cass' house, their quotes are all jammed together and it become sort of hard to tell who said what. Everytime someone new starts talking, you should start a new paragraph.