Vanilla Twilight - Comments

To start off, I'm going to be extremely cliche and say that this was really cute and I loved it. I liked the idea, and every bit of this story fit perfectly with the song. Your writing is flawless and I didn't spot an error anywhere throughout the piece. The flow was great.

And maybe I am a little biased as I like to use that style , but I like how you used the writing style of the narrator speaking directly to his or her lover. It helps the reader really feel as if they are being spoken to personally. They can identify with how the narrator is feeling and I liked how you did that.

Good job. :)

That actually made me want to cry. You are an amazing writer; that story was so beautiful. You could feel the characters sadness and how much they loved. The imagery was stunning and your description was superb. Your grammar and spelling were perfect, and your layout was gorgeous. Wonderful story :)

DAMN, THIS IS GOOD.
The picture matches perfectly to it and everything about it is lovely.
I didn't find one error and the flow of it is perfect.
The descriptions and emotion was amazing.
Really great job.
Great work, as always. :3

Well first off.
OWL FUCKING CITY.

Second off.
Ugh, I love this.
I say that about everything I love, but I mean asidhiaodhoah.
Or everything you write, I don't know I'm distracted.
I saw the title and immediately played this song.
I was so damn excited.
And like florence said, the emotion was beautiful.

beautiful and sweet. You are a talented writer.

This was... wow.

Really great emotion, sad and cute at the same time, for me.

It was short and almost cliche... but it's just so different and beautiful.

I really enoyed reading this. <3

The sun started to break through the darkness, engulfing the stars as it started to rise. I looked around once more before walking slowly through the field.

*Drool*.

I'd like to have your story's babies. One small child at a time. Well done.

For some reason, I felt seriously biased while reading this, aha. x) I felt deshavu a couple of times. I guess it's because we both did a song-fic of Vanilla Twilight aha. (:

"Do you enjoy killing the earth, one grass blade at time?”

This was adorable.<3 (: No lie, I was almost crying near the end, aha. Your detail was so awesome, it made me feel as if I was there, sitting with her under that tree, remembering these feelings/memries and missing this kiddo.

Stellar Job as always. C:

That was so sad. :( I think I cried a little bit, no lie. I love your descriptions of everything. I love the way you started out about counting the stars. I also loved this part right here:

”Do you enjoy killing the earth, one grass blade at time?”

That was cute. (:

Oh, my. This was so sad. It's very sweet, but you always add a hint of longing.

Your descriptions are beautiful, and her memories are worded so perfectly. It's almost poetic, and incredibly darling. The characters are heartbreaking, and I just love it.

Amazing job, and I almost cried xD

This was such a wonderful one-shot. I think it fit really well with the song.

This is such a wonderful story, no lie :)
Cute and wonderful, that's pretty much what I thought while reading.
Good job!

I filled up, not going to lie.

This was beautiful. So short, but so much emotion was packed into every single word and the whole thing came together beautifully. The layout was so pretty and the the picture really complimented the story. I could see everything how you described it, and in such a short time I found myself filling up and feeling such emotion for your main character. It was really, really well done.

I also noticed that some of the italics didn't work, but someone has pointed out where that is so I won't point it out again.

I understand this is a song fic, what song was it based on? I'm not familiar with it, but would like to read it again with the song on ^_^

Well done, absolutely beautiful. <3

Aww that was such a wonderful story, the star reference and the way you incorporated the lyrics into the words as well worked, well.
It was brilliant.

”Do you enjoy killing the earth, one grass blade at time?”
^ Italics didn't work for that line. Just saying :P
But besides that, this was so sweet and beautiful <3 I got a little teary reading it. You describe their love so wonderfully yet effortlessly (how do you do it?!) :) I really love it. Amazing job.

This is very deep and easily relate-able :] It made me a little sad reading it, to tell you the truth, but, that's the best part :]

Aww! This was so lovely and cute and wonderful <3 I love the lyrics to the song; the guy's point of view is lovely as well. You pulled this off so perfectly (:
This was brilliant <3
I swear, this comment is so lame, but I want you to know that this is seriously the best one-shot I've read so far :D <3

“looking up at the stars that we always tried to count.”
I loved how you made the first sentence of your story about stars, and in the song it was also a preference to stars.
“Your hands fit so perfectly in mine, our fingers felt like they were meant to be intertwined.”
Again, the lyrics to the song. Love that. And when she whispers to the wind, again, I love that part, because it was in the song. :)
The fact that you wrote it in a guys Point of View is good, because most people would write it in a girl Point of View just because they are one and can connect better that way, but you made it perfect. And I love that didn't actually say she died, I just knew because of how you wrote it. And how you actually have her dead, and they didn't just break up (like most people would do).
Overall, it's beautifully written, and I love it.

This is awesome. It's amazingly written. Sorry, you aren't listed in the contest yet. Remy (Duh...) has been busy. But thank you so much for entering!