City Lights - Comments

Please, please, please can you update soon?
This is one of my favourite stories that I've recently found, I really love the way you write and I've been holding out for a chapter 3 for ages!

Ah. I love this. Pleaseee update.

Update?
There's only two chapters and I'm already in love with this story.

Mindfreak.:

UPDATE.

:file:

Yes.
You should do that.

I'm with her...

Oh, By the way, have I metioned that I subscribed to this story after reading just the summary? Yeah, it's that good.

The attention you have to every single detail of someting is amazing. It's like you're an artist. I have the perfect image of what's going on in the story the whole time.

I absolutely LOVE this and I can't wait to read more of it.

<3

Holy crap, this story is...so cool.
:)

I love this!
You should update =]]

My God, Heart-Shaped Box this was love and beautiful. You are a gorgeous writer, and who am I to say you're not. I felt everything you've written and I can't even think straight right now. It was pure and innocent. I love stories like that. When the end came I didn't know what to think. I read only the first chapter and I have to read the second, but this was good.

"Gerard quickly looked over at Frank, confused for a moment about what he was talking about, but then understood fully once he saw Frank taking the headphones off. Tilting his head down and lifting the headphones up over his ears, Frank reached his hand out over the top of the seat to let the headphones dangle in his hand, waiting to be taken a hold of. "

I loved that line, well, more of a paragraph. There were many I loved throughout this, but that the most. I didn't want to go quote the whole first chapter xD I loved how you've created Frank and Gerard. I really don't read that much slash, only the few that I write, but I'm glad I picked this one and I see why this is your favorite story. Adorable.

UPDATE.

:file:

Yes.
You should do that.

Okay, so I looked through your story section and I love stories dealing with cities. The title got me. And this is the one I'm going to read. I just wanted to let you know so, if I forget you can nag me xD

I love this!

hehe, Frank is so outgoing!

and Gee is so recluse.

It's awesome!!

Update SPoon!

*cry* update

Dude, I've read this before :D
Its brilliant!
I love it
I leave boring comments
Update soon : D

Amazing, original, and, yet again, your writing is elegant and beautiful.
I have nothing constructive to say, I'm wowed.
Update?

MakeMePretty:

love <3

End of.

I would try and offer some moe constructive comments, but honestly, it's amazing and so original, there's nothing I can say =]

love <3

End of.

I didn't friggen realise that this had been updated....

This line... "I knew you wouldn't forget,"  .. hit me... because you know it's what everyone was thinking with a smug look on their face.

The one thing that I love about this is just how awkward you have made it, especially on Gerard's side. When looking at the situation, you honestly expect it to be the other way.

Kind of how Frank having the upper hand over Gerard, even though Frank is missing something that Gerard has. I love that about this...

He is the one people would see as being the weak one.... where as, in the reality of this... he is way more comfortable in his own skin than Gerard has probably ever been.

And the thing I love about this the most... while you know where you want the storyline to head... there are so many aspects including the personalities of both of these characters that could take this in a complete direction every chapter.

I really can't wait to see how this unfolds... I really can't....

I ttlly just pwnd yer page tew.
:hand:

Ah, and finally, the update. Though I could never begrudge you the wait, because I think that's actually what makes it so much more deliciously enjoyable to read when the e-mail finally comes (and I happen to poignantly ignore it until I have some peace and quiet to not only read, but consume.)

Sweet indulgence.

Reaching out a skeletal hand, his fingers paled from the cynical cold,

This line is some of juxtaposition at its finest. Already we are viewing Gerard as this slightly misanthropic character, and the imagery that you use to back this up is fantastic. Skeletons obviously provide the bleakness, the shadow, the gray. And the cold being cynical as well, matching his mood, matching his personality, only helps to picture the atmosphere you have so willingly and seemingly easily created.

You are so prone to detail, describing every little last thing that goes on, not only in the character's head, but in his surroundings as well. Some would find this tedious; I find it mind-numbingly attractive. It makes for a realistic and picture-esque read.

A paled silhouette stood out, every time he would pass underneath a ray of brightness that protruded from an overhead streetlight, letting his features become echoed in the rearview mirror, more clearly. His replication in the glass exhibited nothing more than a man of apathy, from hair that constantly uncombed, to eyes that had always held too much worn-down memory

Long quote, I apologize. But I just wanted to use it as an example to point out how subtly abstract your style of description and writing in general is. You did not simply describe how Gerard looks driving in his car, exhausted, hungry, a little more tired with life than most are. Instead you gave us this picture of a reflection, just an image in a mirror. Not exactly how he is, but how he is painted through something else, a piece of reflective glass. This was beautiful in its own, meager way, because we get a view of him rather than the real deal, though it is accurate in its own way.

The beginning really came across to me as an old black and white film, strangely enough. In my mind there was no sound, though there was the traffic of blaring horns. There was dialogue, but I envisioned just a set of thin lips pressed firmly together in aggitation. The mood was bitter, though not angry. Simply...frustrated. Nothing. It was silent, it was black, it was white, the image was slightly grainy and flickering. Gorgeous.

"Smoking kills, you know."
I'm planning on it,"

And then the humor. It's the kind that makes you laugh at first and then instantly want to cry because it's too true for your particular type of liking. You don't like it because it is honest and bitter, and that makes you feel for the character. And it makes you wish that he was back on a train with a blind man groping at his thigh, if only to pretend that the atmosphere was getting a little warmer.

"You remembered." Frank smiled widely.

Perhaps my favourite couplet of lines within the entire chapter. It seems so ironic that Frank would be happy that Gerard remembered his name, since the reader is bound to think that Frank would be the one having difficulty placing a person. Of course, why should we ever think that, knowing Frank's depth of perception and Gerard's...well, his surprise over the unusual. However, that strange sort of pleasing shock completely hits home, and I find myself grinning as widely as he seems to be.

And the part where Frank reaches out and touches Gerard's crotch. I was sort of stuck between wondering if Frank could have possibly known exactly where he was going to strike, or if maybe it was just a strange coincidence of the most embarrassingly perfect kind. The way he reacted to Gerard's own reaction, the smile like he knew exactly what he had done, but confuses and fascinates me. But I suppose that feeling sort of embodies Frank himself, who already seems to know more about his immediate surroundings than I ever thought possible.

Frank's perception really never does cease to amaze me. He picks up on the smallest, most obsolete details because it is a part of his lifestyle, his only way to survive, yet I am captivated by the care he takes in getting accustomed to his environment. It is a learning experience, truly, watching him take each step or reaching for the handle on a car door. I find myself reveling in these tasks that are so simple for me that I just take them for granted. You gift beauty to the small things, and I'm increasingly grateful for the new view.

But then suddenly I am hit with something new. These few lines: "You drink, right?" Frank inquired curiously, then took a hold of his cane and folded it out manually with both his hands.

"Uh, yeah, sure," Gerard said casually, knowing his answer was probably not fitting enough for the truth that hid behind it; but at that time of the night, he could not care less.

"So, you like, you wouldn't mind if you came in," Gerard watched as Frank's hand raises to gesture towards the apartment's stoop and front door. "You got like, ten minutes, don't you?"

They hit me hard, and at first I wasn't sure why. I was expecting to feel happy, a chance at prolonging the encounter, an introduction to friendship, and with the drinking, most likely more than that. But still there was an overwhelming sadness that clung to the words, and I finally realized it was because of what they were dressed in: loneliness.

Gerard is obviously a lonely man. You can see it in his disheveled clothes and hair, the breakfast vodkas, the subtle hatred of life. You can taste it in his dialogue and slightly bitter attitude.

But then there is Frank, who is this upbeat blind young man, slightly manic, but who still manages to be calm and cool. Except that you can tell that he is lonely too, and I think that hurts even more than Gerard's loneliness. Frank is lonely due to unfortunate circumstance, while Gerard is lonely due to oppressive attitude and a distince personality that sort of screams "Fuck off." It really hurt to see that Frank, blind optimistic Frank, is desperate for contact and friendship too.

Frank's apartment probably deserves to be analyzed, but then again, it is just like Frank himself. A little messy and insane, yet everything seems to make perfect sense. The music paraphernial belongs. The toys belong. And lastly, seeing this apartment through the eyes of this man, this narrator: Gerard belongs. It's one of the things that stands out the most as he looks at Frank's rooms and takes in what they contain.

But I'm finding myself increasingly becoming very much like Gerard. Frank's quirks and erm...unusual humor make me nervous and anxious and creeping out of my seat. It's that sort of exhilarating kind of anxiety where I'm not sure whether to take his words seriously or not. It's almost creepy and like, serial-rapist in a way. In a very good way. Frank makes me highly uncomfortable in the most unconventional ways, and I love it. It's compelling.

Your characters are quite simply intriguing. And then again, it's not very simple at all. You manage to be complex at the same time, unfolding bits and pieces of story so subtly that you have to peer between the lines to realize them. I love that. It's like an adventure, really, reading your words. And again, those same words are so vivid, the word and verb choices so outstanding and well-chosen rather than just black and white dialogue. It's very...real.

Patiently waiting,
Fink