City Lights - Comments

wow
just..wow
i cant believe this story hasnt got a greater audience

Mhm, what Kayla said. :tehe:
Seriously.

Frank intrigues me.
Especially the fact he can take care of himself that well, being blind and all. :shifty

Your way of writing is incredibly special and unique, it keeps me interested.
Each new brilliant way of saying something makes me squeal silently. :tehe:

Oh man, this was awesome.
I've read a fanfic this descriptive before. It's weird i scrolled through thing before i read it and groaned because it was long but honestly even before the frist paragraph was over i coudn't take my eyes off it. I like felt like it was there...really there. Now I'll say I had that same affect in other stories before but i don't think its ever been like this. You truely have an amazing gift of writing. I love how Frank so 'awake' and stuff and Gerard is just so nervous. Also Frank's apartment sounds like an amazing place...sort of like my room haa. Blah, I'm so excited for the next chapter.

Aww, I love Frank's personality.
It's like, different. He's so up front and blunt about everything.
:XD

I love Frank's place, too.
I'd love to live somewhere like that.
:tehe:

Sunny D and champagne, hey?
Did you make that up or it is actually something alcoholic that I didn't taste yet?
:lmfao

So yeah, that was an amazing update.
But it was your update, so what else could be expected?
:arms:

wowow.... nothing to say relly just... damn, that was good update

If there was ever anything that i have read of yours that has left me wanting more... this is it...

It opens so basically, yet so intricately that it was almost effortless to vision..

Even though you didn't go into all the mundane basic details that everyone goes through when starting to set up a character... you seemed to have established the characters perfect enough to begin an outline to there personalities... Frank in particular. I envy that, it's something that i just can't seem to master.

And Frank's questions that Gerard seems to be not only caught off guard by, but doesn't know how to answer show by far the biggest differences between each of them.

It's complex with out being complicated...

You've given a small taste, reeling the reader in, and making them beg for more.

I'm not the best 'comment-leaver' by far... But I Loved it.

:cheese:

Since I'm too starstruck for words, repeat everything Kayla (and everyone else, for that matter) said here,
'cause she's so incredibly right in everything she said. :tehe:

I can't wait for more.
I have this feeling you'll grow my favourite author and this my favourite story. :tehe:

Okay. So Mindfreak being the controlling bitch that she is, told me to read this.

I figured...what the hell? I only have like..a million chores to do! I've got time.

So I sat down to skim through it.

I couldn't skim. It made me stop and read every fucking word.

I love you and I hate you for writing so well. This is brilliant.

Oh... wow... I am speechless, honestly this is amazing

Kay so, I'm not fantastic at leaving comments.
All I can say is, this is absoloutely amazing.
It's so raw, so real. It created the perfect image in my head.
The way you described Frank was so different,
and made it far more interesting than just saying "He's blind."
This was a true pleasure to read, and all I can say is
One; thank you Kayla for showing me this and two; I can't wait for more.

Now, I'm off to recc to this on the pimping and reccing thread 8)

Sorry, I don't have a long comment that's weel planned out an original and helpful-I'm not that cool XD All I know is i love this, very much. One of the best I've read in a while to be quite honest. You definatly got somewthing going here. I loved the part where Gerard described the way that Frank walked in the closet, that was so funny. I really loved this though, i dont know it was just the right amount of comedy are seriousness but together. Fuck, i can't explain it.

Ok long story short: I can't wait for an update on this!

i think i like this better then any of mindfreaks stories.
gasp.

well, i don't think anybody could've written anything better.

this is not getting the love it should.
and thank you Mindfreak for showing me this beautiful story.
:hug:

Can i just say you are amazing?
And i am going to re-read this cos im sure theres so much more i missed.

It was so good, i couldnt wait to read on so i read faster and it was amazing.

"...how extraordinarily peaceful winter was meant to be, but, in an unusual twist of thoughts, wasn't."

^this line just captured me, i dont know why this one did, as there was just so many excellent pieces in this story.
Your description is absolutely amazing

and your idea for this is genius
Keep it going, im subscribing.

xxx

Do you possibly even understand how amazing that was?
Oh my god, do you have a way with words. I'm usually not one for one shots, but this was just mouth opening. I swear. I loved everything about it. The mood, to the actions. You my love, is an amazing author, I hope you know that.

This was a great storyline.
I've never seen it before.
I do hope you continue this. ;]

Only four comments on this? Are you guys fucking kidding me? :cheese:
Looks like I need to make a new profile layout, and a new about me, with some links attached. :file:

The first sentence of this gave me shivers. Like, really. I could see it so well, and it felt so real. It reminded me of when I was younger, I used to sit out to Nans' house with my grandfather and watch the snow fall.



It nearly made me cry.

The light but rapid cascading showers of the static-white crystalline snowflakes upon a muted earth that caked softly along the sill of the spacious train window had reminded him, once again, of how extraordinarily peaceful winter was meant to be, but, in an unusual twist of thoughts, wasn’t.

Amazing.

The first thing that entered into his field of view, as a whole, was a medium-height, young-looking, unusually attractive man draped out across the row of three seats, with his feet dangling over the edge, and his head resting on a blue backpack. Dressed in only a thin zip-up hooded sweatshirt with the hood pulled up over his head, with only two layers of both long-sleeved and short-sleeved shirts underneath, Gerard was astounded at how anybody could wear such meager clothing in such glacial temperatures. He didn’t even have a hat, and the closest he had come to wearing gloves was a gray bandana secured around his right hand, just barely covering his knuckles and exposing all of his fingers to the cold.

I JUST FELL IN LOVE WITH FRANK LIKE, THAT MUCH MORE.

:cheese:

That was amazing. I could really fucking see it! As you can tell, I'm oddly amazed, but it's okay, since you're the one writing it and all.

But even as he did this, Gerard saw that it looked more like he was smiling at the row of seats across the aisle from them, rather than at Gerard, as his head never turned, and he never made eye contact.

I felt pity when I read that, cause it, again, was so real. <333

Haha, I loved the reference to Green Day, and naming their band after pot. Haha. :XD

:tehe: Aw, cute kisses frum fwankieeeee.

And with a swift movement of his arm, he pulled his backpack off again, to reach inside and take out what appeared to be a white, folded-up stick. But with a single jerk, the white rod collapsed into a single, narrow apparatus, which Frank quickly grabbed a hold of, touching the other end of it to the floor, just as the train began to jerk more pervasively as it slowly braked to a stop.

Dude.
Do you know how good that was?
:cheese:

Do you know how good that first chapter was? Now that you've got me reading it, you're going to have to start writing it again. :lmfao

^_____^;

:arms:

My god. I really like this!
You have GOT TO UPDATE SOON. Seriously.
Frank seems odd. In a good way ^__^

I've read, I've read. But I love reading again.

The first things that captured my attention when I started rereading this were the sentence lengths. They're sort of long, a little rambling. Maybe I read a little too much into these sorts of things, but I think the sentences already reflect Gerard's state of mind. Strung out, flowing into each other, each sentence sort of clinging onto the tail of the last. Because he's, you know, a little morning-drunk, and not too happy about his situation, and the sentences you write just seem to fit with his mood.

And then another thing is the detail. God, I'd forgotten how well you incorporate detail into everything you write. It seems you take such painstaking care into describing scenes and moods, yet it is also something that appears to come very easily, almost subconsciously to you, which is something I envy.

Allow me a slightly cheesy moment when I say I can almost feel the snow and the jostling of the train.

I like the idea of Frank's subtle organization. The first time I read this, I didn't quite pick up on it. But I suppose that he has to be organized, lacking sight and all. I first noticed it when you wrote about the five dollar bill, and how it was folded into five rectangles, so that he would know how much the bill was for. I like that organization, and that control over his...well, I don't want to call it an impairment, because from the way you write his character, it obviously does nothing to impair him at all. He merely is missing a life-sense, but he has control. I like the idea of Frank being in control over something like that.

Frank's nonchalance paints the perfect picture of his character for me, I think. It just defines him so quickly, right off the bat. It's a beautiful thing, how easy-going he is. It would be such a scary thing to be unable to view the world, but that blindness seems to shield him in a way. It shields him from self-consciousness, and fear of embarrassment. In that way, it paints the loveliest picture of a care-free man, which is exactly the kind of character Frank is.

“Well, if you’re so shy,” Frank began, turning his head somewhat, but continuing to never make eye contact. “Then why are you still sitting here? I mean…why don’t you just walk away?”

I've actually grown to dislike pasting lines from stories, simply because the writer obviously knows what they wrote. But I sort of felt the need to for this particular little chunk. I just think it's kind of an emotional blip in Frank's otherwise flawless spirit. He knows his disability, and the ways he could be taken advantage of. He is so aware of these things that he even goes as far as to suggest them. I think of this as Frank's insecurity, small as it may be. He may have a sparkling personality, and he may be overwhelmingly outgoing, but he doesn't forget his blindness. And he doesn't forget the ways in which it has the potential to affect him negatively and emotionally.

But it also sort of gives a little insight upon his blind view of people. Or his rather expanded view of humans in general, I suppose. I think his lack of sight must give him a heightened sense of humanity, and the selfish flaws that go along with it. How a man could get up and walk away from one who was blind; how it would be just as simple as turning his back and walking away. After all, what could the blind man do? Absolutely nothing. Frank is aware of this, where others might not give it much thought. He is...aware of humanity, and how it affects him personally because of his blindness.

And then I find it laughable at how positively blind Gerard is. How for most of the chapter he doesn't even realize that Frank is blind. He is so oblivious, as humans usually are. Fits with the theme of Frank seeing more than Gerard, despite how physically opposite they are.

Finally, on a less emotional note, you have a brilliant sense of vocabulary. This story is so intelligent and well-written; there are no disappointments when it comes to the skeletal make-up of this story, grammatically or otherwise.

I know, so much for just one chapter. But what can I say, you bring out the rambling lunatic in me. :]]

--Fink

hah so just like i told you, i totally forgot about writing.
instead i made myself two bagels, and ended up talking online about nothing.
AND; i also read this while i ate. xD
of course - you should've known this when you wrote it - that i was gonna automatically love it.

so gerard's a little bit of a drunk and can't remember when he's supposed to get money for the train to go to work. it obviously worked out for him cause he got to talk to and meet frank iero.

i think it's awful sweet of frank to do that for him. i guess he's got one of those good natures where he believes in karma. like do good for others, and others will do good for you. which is a great way to look at life, i wish i could do that but i'm too...crazy, haha.

and i think the same about green day! their name...it's very interesting. and i think they actually did burn back then, because they've got songs about being stoned. and you can't write about pot unless you've smoked pot, or well that's how i see it lol. but whatever, green day has a name that just sticks, which is why i love it.

just like how i love names like 'my chemical romance', 'iron maiden', 'soundgarden', 'the beatles', 'anberlin', etc etc.

btw; green day's 'redundant' came on shuffle when i was typing this comment. thought i should let you know, lol.

<33

Comment virginity woohoo
wow i really like this, your writing is really good =]
more when you can
*subscribes*
Xxx