Brittle and Broken - Comments

Like my dear smolderhalder said, I can totally relate to the beginning of this. Unrequited love is a bitch that I've lived with for three years. So that part really was spectacular to me. However, the random shift in oh, why don't you love me to you suck, was kind of abrupt. It seemed like she was all upset he didn't love her or give her enough attention and questioning her worth to going to I'M TOO GOOD FOR THIS. It just was kind of...sudden and didn't flow together very nicely. I'm curious about the scarf over her head, normally that has something to do with religion, and if she's trapped in a room why would she need to hide her beauty? I feel like you could expand so much with this, and it'd be very interesting to see what you'd come up with. Otherwise, very nice job. :)

I could really relate to the first part of this, which was like in itself. The imagery is wonderful.
You've got such a way with words, because the way you wrote this is beautiful.
And the ending! It was so unexpected! But it made me happy.
Good job! Also, I like the layout.

I really love the layout!
It is simple, but pretty, and doesn't hurt my eyes.
Nice showmanship there.

This was definitely on the shorter side, but it worked well for what you had to say.
The protagonist of the story definitely came across as brittle, among other things.
I was a little confused as to what was going on with her significant other,
but I'm guessing it was a sort of abusive relationship, or something like that.
I liked that she attempted to regain her independence by the ending,
even if she did come across as slightly pathetic at times.
I also understand that is most likely how one would feel if trapped within a situation like that.
You really seemed to understand and explain the emotions of the girl, good job there.

Thank you for submitting in time. :)
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