Icarus and the Bird of Peace - Comments

Came from comment swap. I just have to say wow. I did NOT expect that. Just wow. This was very moving. I felt sad though. Especially when the dove was killed. Poor bird. You have a way with telling a story. I enjoyed reading this. I wouldn't normally, but I'm glad I gave this a chance.

This is absolutely beautiful. I have never really read something on here with such true emotion to any character as this does. Your writing is amazing. I made me so sad with this passage. I'm not going to lie that the bird thing kind of reminded me of the Notebook but in the best way possible. It's poetry in prose.

I can't remember what story I've heard this from but I know it's one of those folktales.
Besides that it's very interest catching. Makes me want to read more (although I probably won't because sadly my eyes are extremely sensitive to the computer). And for some reason it reminds me of a folktale told in the story Things Fall Apart when Okonkwu's wife tells Ezinma the story about the turtle that tricked the birds into making him fly then eating up all the food.

Whoa, that's way off topic. I like folktales though. I like stories with meanings and not pointless reads. I don't know if the story has a meaning but the summary is good enough for me. =)

<3 amazing <3 that poor bird and poor bren. This is so beautiful. Probably one of my favourite stories of yours.

"I want to be a bird. I want to be a bird. I want to be a bird.” Ryan’s whispering again. It never ends.

Brendon's patience and endurence caught me the most. He'd shown an impressive forbearance. Sadly, he's suffering inside.

Now Brendon is crying as he opens the cage and stares at the broken, white dove in his hands.

It's beautiful, I can't think of anything to say.

My favourite part:

He closes his eyes, picturing a million white doves flying against a black sky. It’s so beautiful, so peaceful. No stars, no smog, no lights. Just the birds and sky, open and free and beautiful.

I've never been as obsessed with a story as I am with this. When I read it I feel so sad for Ryan, and so amazed by the images, and a tiny bit jealous that I can't write like that. "If you say it enough, maybe it’s real. If you wish it enough, maybe it comes true. If you pray enough, maybe there’s a god. If you think it hard enough, maybe you’ll get more than a headache." - I keep quoting that (including on my bebo page. see what I mean by obsessed?) because I think it's just the most brilliant part of the story. I can't really explain why. I don't leave comments on stories very much so this might not be a very good comment but I absolutely adore this story.

This is my favourite, I really liked it. I just had to comment.

My favourite part:

''He closes his eyes, picturing a million white doves flying against a black sky. It's so beautiful, so peaceful. No stars, no smog, no lights. Just the birds and sky, open and free and beautiful.''

It was a beautiful image you created there.
I think wanting to be a bird is something everyone feels at some point in there life; just to be free, to go wherever you want and being control over the skies.

The way you put your words together made it seem so much more tragic than it actually is; If you summarize the story, you can just say it's about a boy who wants to be a bird but can't. But it's so much more than that; it's a really great piece of work you have here.

^-----I have to agree with Isa on that.

Sorry to say, but this is probably my first Panic!-related story I've read. And I'd have to also say that this may be one of my favorites.

It's just amazing how you incorporated the beliefs of Greek Mythology into it. Each portion of this story just gives you those wonderfully fresh and pure insights that infuse with an allure of remarkable enchantment. For a one-shot, this is truly inspiring. -I wish it could've continued, though. D: -

I printed it out.
You captured it so flawlessly - replace 'bird' with angel and you've got me.

Honestly I forget how phenomenal you are with words until I read you stuff again.

I probably don't need to tell you that it's beautiful, but it is.

PS I love Greek Mythology.

This really affected me, much more so than anything I've ever read on this site. It's absolutely beautiful and devastating at the same time.

This is one of my favorite passages:

He closes his eyes, picturing a million white doves flying against a black sky. It’s so beautiful, so peaceful. No stars, no smog, no lights. Just the birds and sky, open and free and beautiful. “I want to be a bird. I want to be a bird. I want to be a bird.”

I can't even explain the emotions that your stories make me feel. I'd say it was a swelling of the heart, but it's on the wrong side of my chest for it to be that. It makes bile rise in my throat and tears sting my eyes (no, I'm not crying, not for you, I'm just...bleeding? anyway...) and my body gets chillblains that have nothing to do with the air around me and the world gets shut out completely and my vision narrows to just the words on the screen and the story that I hear in my head and see from those words. So beautifully written and I only wish I could write as beautifully as you, dear darling dru. See the alliteration? Yeah, your name's good for that. Anyway, I love your works and I'm the random, kinda stalkerish person who updates them in a fanatic, frenetic manner. Feel free to be fearful.

I don't have much to say other than it is beautiful.
It really is.
It is almost overwhelming, the emotion I felt.

Oh, wow.
This deserves special recognition because these are the lines of dialogue that caught me most:

“That’s me.”
“No, Ryan, that’s a bird.”
“I want to be the bird.”

My favorite lines:

Not convulsing, just small shakes. As if he were cold, though he’s not. Shakes that start from the inside and just vibrate out.

And if not, you can always just say you didn’t know you weren’t supposed to take thirty Tylenol. If you live to be asked, that is.

I love your storiesso too much.

"Shakes that start from the inside and just vibrate out."
Caught in the first paragraph. There's no hope now.
Happy reading indeed. I would attempt to offer constructive critisism, but I can't actually think of anything. It's better short. Like it is. It's very simple, but with a lot of detail. Like it is. I can't think of anything else that'll make it better. There is obviously a reason why you're a SE. =]

P.S. You have obviously taken a course in presentation. I swear, all your stories have such pretty backgrounds (*cough* that fit in with the main theme unlike most *cough*.) Once again, an astonishing job. Appreciated =].

wow thats all i got to say...

i almost cried.
this is beautiful. sad, but so beautiful.

New story. Oneshot. 600 words.
Angsty, Ryan-centric, implied Ryden.
Ryan wants to be a bird...

Happy [?] reading.

xoxox
-Dru