DUDE, this was beautifully written. My face was so close to the screen, like, I was so into it. You write so wonderfully. (:
Just one thing though: She'd been so shy, blushing, stuttering, willing herself to not start chewing on her hair as she did when she was nervous – a habit she'd tried to get rid of but failed.
I didn't really get that line. Maybe you could rephrase it to: She'd been so shy - blushing, stuttering, and willing herself to not start chewing on her hair, as she did when she was nervous – a habit she'd tried to get rid of but failed.
You don't have to though!
Overall, I love-love-loved this! You're an amazing writer & I am most definitely looking forward to more of your pieces. (:
this was beautifully written.
My face was so close to the screen, like, I was so into it. You write so wonderfully. (:
Just one thing though:
She'd been so shy, blushing, stuttering, willing herself to not start chewing on her hair as she did when she was nervous – a habit she'd tried to get rid of but failed.
I didn't really get that line. Maybe you could rephrase it to:
She'd been so shy - blushing, stuttering, and willing herself to not start chewing on her hair, as she did when she was nervous – a habit she'd tried to get rid of but failed.
You don't have to though!
Overall, I love-love-loved this! You're an amazing writer & I am most definitely looking forward to more of your pieces. (:
<3