Lea. - Comments

Yelling, and screaming.
The comma isn't necessary in this case.

...-finally made it to a place that quite
Did you mean ...a place that was quiet?
I'm not sure though. Those were the only 2 mistakes I found.

I really liked this one-shot. Between all the chaos and desperation, she managed to crawl out of it. Quite possibly to a place much worse, since she will be lonely, and away from what would continue hurting her if she stayed. I think that happiness will be temporary though, seeing as how she's only 5. :\

Nice job. Your writing is straight to the point. :D

The comma seems awkward in the first line, and in the third to last line, shouldn't it be was quiet instead of quite?. Only things that throw me off though.

The description in this made me a little teary-eyed. I hate knowing that there are kids in her situation, and how she's so scared about everything. Reminds me of some country songs, one called Concrete Angel and the other Alyssa Lies, except this story at least has a remotely happy ending.

A five year old really should never have to run away. That was the line that made me feel a few tears running down my cheeks, and I hated her parents for pushing her to that. The simplicity of the note she left, saying that she still loved them after all this time was the worst part.

The last three lines were perfection to me. I loved how she found herself to be happy and safe finally, and I truly hope that someone could come and find her and save her from this.

I dunno, I got way too into this story since it was so nicely written.

I love stories written from a perspective of a child; you see so few of them around Mibba. It's even more uncommon to see a story from a child's perspective that actually sounds like it's coming from a child. As ridiculous as it sounds, it's true. Lea is a lovely character, and very well-developed for so short a story. The whole thing was heartbreaking, and the ending (although happy) making it so much more so. The picture in the layout just added to the mood, I think.

I spotted no grammar errors, so bravo. It was a good story, whatever you may think.

Oh my God.
The opening to this made me think back to a few years ago. Because my parents were always fighting and I always stayed in my room with my hands over my ears, crying. Because I was scared. /:
And I was twelve when that happened.

I don't know how you couldn't like this.
I thought it was wonderful. Absolutely heart-wrenching and then... better. Happy. Good.

Fantastic job! <3

Oh my god, that made me sad. :\
I could relate to this, so it gives you more points.
Anyhow, why don't you like this!?
Your writing held such emotion & it comes across beautifully. <3
I truly loved it!
Wonderful job! <3 [:

The layout was simple, which I liked. It made me feel somber, and lonely.

But how could you not like this!? It’s emotional and really reflects the mentality of a young child. It’s amazing, and don’t doubt it!!

It was heartfelt, realistic, relatable, and tear-jerking.

I loved it!!

Well, I liked it. It's a relate-able story, with the fighting among her parents.
But it's sort of sad, that she actually ran away.
Really clever though.
But sad.

Like I said, I liked it. :)