Peaches - Comments

I was just thinking throughout the part where Meg left JEsse, "He'll get lost, she'll find him and happily ever after." But I was crying hard at the end when they never found him. It was too sad... lol that's my complaint. Then again, he was a big jerk to Emma... But there wasn't any true proof that he liked (even loved her!) her!
... Way to end on a rhetorical cliffhanger (I hoped I used that smart word in the right context :D) :>D GREAT JOB! lol Anyways I really loved it even though it ended not the way I thought and wished it did. :D

First of all, I was a little disappointed that there was no layout. A layout adds another dimension to a story, in my opinion.

Also, I have to point out that you should really take a new paragraph for every new person who speaks. I noticed that, for example, in the first paragraph Jesse and the narrator were both speaking in the same paragraph, which is grammatically incorrect.

That aside, I really enjoyed this. I liked the simple title, “Peaches”, and the way it became a sort of way of remembrance at the end. I also wasn’t expecting the end, and it surprised me, but in a good way. I thought it was very well-written and bittersweet towards the end, and I thought the feeling were portrayed well, and your characters were realistic. Just sort out those paragraphs before the contest is judged, and of course, good luck!