Bullet and a Target - Comments

love this so far :D
its amazing

LOVED it, it's so short and simple yet powerful, ugh i loved it and them and it's just amazing

This is one of my favorite chapters, if not my favorite. I love how they understand each other so well. I love the way that they know exactly what the other means. I love them together.
You write this fantastically. Don't ever stop!

I really, really like the way their relationship is developing and how you're peeling back these layers of Bones. Really great, I swear :)

Again i must say that this is so amazing because it's so simple yet confusing, and i'm not really sure what i'm trying to say other than I LOVED IT!

I love this story, o love the mystery that comes with it! Amazing writing! X

So I don't like that the chapters are so small because I wanna see what happens, but then again I do because it builds much needed suspense... continue as you were :) this is yummy by the by

(I'm starting from Chapter Seven, since it appears that I failed to comment on it! D:)

How you open up the chapter with what people are saying, and then go right into Pete's anger impressed me. Generally, especially in first person, doing something like that can come off as ridiculously whiny and obnoxious, and usually makes me give up on the story. Eight chapters in and you've still got me hooked... I call this a success!

Chris really is like a protective older brother to Bones. I love how he talks; it's a simple, really teenagery sort of speaking, which works so nicely and makes it obvious that you aren't trying too hard to make anyone mysterious or creepy; it's how you describe them and how we percieve that description that makes us curious for more.

I can really imagine Pete and Chris' conversation taking place between an older brother and his sister's boyfriend/guy friend. It's got the right amount of badassery and respect that it doesn't make Chris seem ridicuously overprotective, but still protective.

Chapter eight describes a lot of kids, though I'm not included. School actually is my comfort zone, as I really do like learning and it's almost like a routine thing for me. Pete's idea of comfort, though, is similar to one of my closest friends, which makes him a bit more relatable for me.

I like how Bones is listed as something that makes him uncomfortable, because it's completely true. Bones, her nickname itself, is enough to make anyone nervous and intrigued by her, and that's just how Pete seems to be.

And Bones can TOTALLY get away with anything.

I wonder how Pete manages to stay on the soccer team even though he gives off that his grades are shit - Aren't a lot of schools like, "If you don't have a 2.1 GPA, no extracurriculars?" Maybe Pete's grades really aren't as bad as he says, y'know?

I think the note would have been more impacting if it hadn't had the first two lines of lyrics. It makes it a bit cliche, in my opinion, but reading is starting at the Don't make this easy makes the note seem a lot more real.

Pete is completely and utterly in love with Bones, isn't he? XD, I love how he's so damn nervous about her, even though the only thing he needs to be nervous about it her reputation.

On the topic of what Bones looks like, I honestly haven't even looked at the picture of her. I have my own little image of Bones - A younger version of Dr. Temperance Bones from the TV show - so my version is probably along the lines of a mix of Zoe Deschanel and Emily Deschanel.

Wonderful job ;3

all time low <3
good update!!! xD

Chris <3
I love how everyone automatically assumes something. So true to life.
I wonder what prompted Bones to talk to Pete in the first place. If she hasn't spoken to any guys in two years then why is she now all of a sudden?

LOVED IT!

Chris is so cool, and Pete is so confuzing yet easy to understand

I loved the update. I will say that I preferred Mila over Audrina but yeah. xD

OH and, just so you know, the italics end part of the code is not [\i] so if you fix that, it should work. :)

again i adored this!

Ah, I'm late again. Sorry.

How Pete seems to just know what makes him popular makes me smile a little. Something about that is just a quirky thing to think about, yanno? I love his little comparison to him and Bones, how it's a 1:3 ratio there.

It's amusing to me still how intimidated Pete is by Bones. I really do want to know more about her - I'm quite pumped for when they hang out next and such. She's made out to be sososo mysterious and interesting by Pete, and I'd love to know if she's really all that. It's intriguing for me.

That Pete completely forgets his essay amuses me, but there's a slight continuity error; they're in class on Monday, but a previous chapter has Pete ranting about how it's due on a Tuesday. A little weird, but perhaps Bones just likes to be ahead of things. So call me crazy xD

Their little conversation is adorable. How Pete seems to keep his sentences simple and relaxed sort of lets on to that he's really nervous about this, and how cool and calm Bones is... I can almost see this as a movie.

Great job ;3

Like!like!like! Ha ha this is good, I like the format, kinda reminds me of ellen hopkins... but anyway this story seems really interesting............ just keep writing!

i love this!
*subscribes*
I love how you write this!!

I like this a lot.
I'm in love with the way you write. It's fan-freaking-tastic. It's beautiful.
And the way you write Pete's thoughts. I can only imagine how spot-on you are.

My favorite line this chapter was, I think:
Boot camp.
Failure of a child.
“Get the fuck out of my house.”
So glad Pete and Bones finally met.
I can not wait, honestly, for the next chapter.

Amazing :]

So, I'm in the middle of rubbing my hair dry while I watch Bones, and BAM! Update message! So, I ditch my hair (which is now turning into curls ._.) and leave Bones running, and jolt to read it.

Holy shit. I mean, holy shit. Pete and Bones meet! Good god, I've been waiting for this for, erm, four chapters. How Bones and Pete meet, and how you tie in that they both like the night if you reference the previous chapter, it's just... amazing. I've said that so many times, but that's because I just can't stop saying it.

Once again, again, and again, I've gotta tell you that you've just gotten into Pete's mind so well that it's just how I imagine he'd think. He would definitely make where Bones lived his new favorite place, since he appears to be so interested and obsessed, wouldn't he?

That she knows people are intimidated by her, yet she doesn't understand why, interests me. I'm intimidated by her simply because from what Pete's told me, she's just freaking Bones. If she was a girl at my school, I'd think of her the same way.

The ending line is just freaking perfection. A not-really-cliffhanger works for this, and I'm definitely excited to see the next chapter :3

(thank you for the shoutout, by the way. That was really sweet :3 I'm really loving this story, so commenting's just more fun now.)

I just started reading today, but I have to say, this writing is lovely.
You don't say much, but you capture every single aspect imaginable. It's easy to write paragraphs on end without saying anything, but you definitely have taken the opposite route. You say everything in one sentence. When you read, you just know.
There are only four chapters of this, and I already like this more than the majority of stories on this site. Keep on being fabulous.