Swallowing Caves - Comments

Or really good sex
-nodnod-

This kind of sounds like either a really good acid trip, or a really bad one. I’m not saying that’s what I think it is or what it’s supposed to be, but that’s what it reminded me of.

So many things could cause what you wrote about, an acid trip for one, heart break, and a roller coaster. It could be a number of things, but I like that I’m left guessing as to what you could have written about.

And you wrote it well. It seemed like it should have read awkwardly but it didn’t. The details were phenomenal. I’ve read this several times now just because I want to try to figure it out haha.

The summary caught my attention but the actual story itself confused me.
I don't think that matters though because your descriptions are so beautiful.
You can feel the emotion and it feels like you're being suffocated along with the character.
I really did love this. :)

This is amazing. The descriptions make you feel as if you're suffocating yourself, and they flow so nicely, and paint perfect pictures in my head of this girl choking on something, just laying there, helpless.

It's incredible how you managed to convey such emotions, such desperation, in such a small frame of words. It just hooks the reader up; fuck, it made me hope that you had more chapters of this, maybe another 100 word sequel with what was happening. It was that amazing.

I agree with mellon; too, the third paragraph was absolutely stunning and it just... wow. It puts together the whole piece.

I'm not sure if I'm getting the title correctly, but what I understood was as if she was choking, her throat being the cave, the inside of the cave enclosing each passing second. I don't know if this is correct, but the title just lured me in, and I'm glad I read this. It was absolutely amazing.

I couldn't read it very well because the font was so dark.
But what I could read I very much enjoyed.
The one thing I didn't like was the line "I felt like I was going to die."
It's become obvious to the reader that she's suffocating or something similar to it.
And putting that kind of takes away from the oblivion.
That's my only complaint. But I really enjoyed it.

Wow, is it wrng that I'm upset because I didn't want it to end! This was amazing. It was like I could feel all of the things ou described, well done!

I loved this.
It was purely amazing.
<3

I'm guessing he's going up to talk to this beautiful girl, but he's nervous as f*ck?

I can relate. XD

The descriptions depict this wonderfully. You are a master writer.

Dr.

Breathing was becoming difficult every second I inhaled, or tried to inhale. I felt like something was caught in my lungs. I had tried everything: Coughing, sneezing, making ugly sounds. Nothing worked.
Hm, this make me wonder... I'm curious to see what the heck is happening.

The room around me was becoming a blur as my breathing started to get worse. Everything was twisting and looked so amazing, but I was scared. I felt like I was about to die.
Curioser and curious. This story is so entrancing and detailed.

Around me I saw floating objects, spilling colours from the sides and empty shadows were pressing against my body every way I turned.
Wow, this part is just amazing. I love how you describe things - your word choice is excellently beautiful.

Nothing would be right anymore, nothing would feel safe... never again.
Good ending, my dear, good ending.
It doesn't give much away, and it's slightly confusing, but I think that adds to the appeal of the story itself.

This was eerie... very mysterious, but yet not dark. I really liked it. It's one of those strange stories that leaves you thinking and wondering, and maybe even wanting to come back and read it again, just to be sure that you even read it right the first time.

You have a lot of talent, and I loved this drabble. I honestly can't give you anything to improve on.

<3

Oh wow. This was stunning. It was so short, yet so full of detail as well. There was such mystery in it, even though the summary described some of it the drabble itself was so mysterious and interesting. I really loved this. It’s one of the shorter drabbles that I’ve read on the site but it’s also one of my favourite. It was kind of scary, due to the lack of breath and everything, but it was just so well-written. I love drabbles at the best of times, but this was thoroughly enjoyable even for something I enjoy anyway. Brilliant job =]

This is so beautiful!

You wrote with so much emotion. I could feel the anxiety and fear inside my chest.

You’re an incredible writer!!

This is kind of trippy, aha. I'm seriously confused on what exactly is going on, but the detail was so nice I didn't really give a flying fladoodle, teehee.<3 c: Oh! The name of this. :) It's beyond brilliant. I also really like the wallop this had for such a short amount of words. It's like, Whabam! and it just gets at you, teehee. :)

Anyways, what I'm trying to say (and possibly failing xD) crazy amazing job. :)

This was great.
I liked it.
The summary was catching my attention.
I was a little confused til I read it again, but I liked it.
In the short amount of words you used I still felt like I was there.
The layout is clean and neat. In a way, it matches with the story(:
<3

Hope that was good enough.
><

I am really bad at giving good comments but I'll try. D:

This was absolutley stunning!
Honestly, in such a short amount of words, you made this so perfect.
I really like it.
The layout was lovely and clean looking.
The way you put the words in the story made it so gripping and interesting.
Really, super job! <3

O_O
Whoa.

I'm so confused as to what's happening, but I don't think that's a bad thing. The description in this fits for me, making my head spin while trying to understand what's going on and why nothing would feel safe anymore.

The first line draws you in nicely, and the story definitely keeps your attention. The third paragraph is my absolute favorite, though. Describing the shadows as empty adds a whole new layer of depth to the story, and then how abruptly it ends after that bit leaves the reader sitting back wondering what happened, which, as I said before, isn't really a bad thing.