This is really good. You set the scene really well. Your description is vivid and real nice to read, and I also loved all the vocabulary you used; it was interesting and eye-catching but not over-the-top. The story seems interesting. I think if you wrote slightly longer chapters it'd be nicer and more in-depth to read (for example, maybe you could put more detail between the different locations in, so as to pad the plot out more and make it seem less rushed) but other than that it's a really good read.
August 25th, 2010 at 09:43pm