We Have Sinned - Comments

I like how short this is and how there are a lot of things left unsaid, which works in a really great way. :) I think the piece is super descriptive and captures the beauty in Catholic Churches (even if the story is shrouded in a misery of sorts), I like that you at least present things in beautiful manner. Then I think the contrast also works quite well; the church and then what the character starts to feel and how everything just seems to look down on her. I think that's well done. Most of all though, I think the lines of dialogue spoken are probably maybe the 'best'(?) thing about the short piece because in saying them, there's a reassurance that this isn't some god-hating/Catholic-hating/Catholics down people's throats kind of story, there's something more to it which makes you wonder why the words were uttered and what are the pasts these people share. It's a well-written piece. :)

Very brilliant and awesome! :) I like it. Very well-written as well. :)

I really enjoyed this a lot. It flows so perfectly and feels very realistic. Your description of how the church shakes and the stale scent of the air is a really good description and I was just in awe at how spot on of a feeling you captured there. My absolute favorite line here has to be Mary and Jesus and Joseph stare with concrete eyes while she continues to writhe uncomfortably on the pew.Yeah, I'm kinda in love with that line. I assume it's referring to the statues in the church, yet it also felt like it could be doubling as if the protagonist feels like Mary, Jesus, and Joseph are standing in front of her in person, judging her for her sins. I adored this.

This was really, really good. I loved how peaceful and loving churches are supposed to be but you completely juxtaposed it with anger and hate. I thought the bit about the stray dogs outside was a really good touch because it showed how shitty the place actually was.

I just got this so much because I've been forced to go to church even though I've grown to a point where I can think for myself and come up with what I want to believe in. So I get the anger towards the church, despite how "perfect" and loving its supposed to be.

First off, I want you to know how happy I am that the prompt was useful to you, and these lyrics inspired such a wonderful piece of writing.
It's short, but lengthy enough to hit home. I love the heavy atmosphere you created, right from the first line. The imagery is really rich and I love how there's something for every sense in there.
Mary and Jesus and Joseph stare with concrete eyes while she continues to writhe uncomfortably on the pew.
This line struck me as especially powerful, it just sums up so perfectly what Church does to people.
So she eats and drinks and curses the name of her father and savior.
And this. It has so much emotion in it and it turns the whole thing into the story of a life.
Lovely work. :3

Salutations,

"We Have Sinned" is now officially one of my most favorite mibba stories. I have been absolutely bewitched by everything about it.

Not one word is out of place. It is like a perfectly planned stained glass window, there is no bullshit fluff but also no ignorant talent. It simply says everything it needs too and nothing it doesn't. Your imagery is so hauntingly beautiful, your style so refreshing, I wish this was the kind of writing that made up all of mibba. I also wish this was a 300+ page novel. I can't wait to read your other works. Thank you for posting this.

Peace,
Aston the Owl